CHURCH BRINGS CLOSURE./A NEW ADVENTURE

WELL..LET ME TELL YA ABOUT MY WEEKEND...WHILE ON MY WAY TO SEEING MY DAUGHTER AT CHURCH..ALLEN A.M.E CATHERAL HAD AN ANNIVERSARY LUNCHEON...I WORE MY BEST...AN AFRICAN SUIT..BLACK WITH BROWN AND YELLOW DESIGN...I FELT SO GOOD CONSIDERING ..I WAS GETTING MY LIFE BACK..WHERE I'VE BEEN JUST ALLOWING THINGS TO FALL APART...IN THE PROCESS OF SINGIN...PRAISING GOD...A THOUGHT CAME TO MIND..WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING FOR A YEAR... AS THE PERFORMANCE GOT ON IT'S WAY..WE PRAYED BEFORE THE SHOW BEGAN..I STARTED THINKING WHERE I WAS...PEOPLE APPROACHING ME...SMILING..SAYING HOW MUCH I AM BLESSED TO HAVE A FAMILY WITH SO MUCH TALENT...HOW I LOOKED GOOD FOR MY AGE...HOW THE LORD KEPTED ME TOGETHER ALL MY LIFE...I MADE IT THIS FAR WITH NO PROBLEM....WHAT!!!!..THEY DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT..I JUST SPENT THE WHOLE YEAR ON A WHIM AND A PRAYER..WISHING..HOPING I WOULD GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE AWAY SOMEWHERE ..FAR AWAY FROM MY AREA..MEETING OTHER PEOPLE WHO MADE ME HAPPY...MADE ME SMILE EVERY DAY..WITHOUT KNOWING HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO ME...WELL..THAT'S OVER WITH..I'M A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW..I'VE GIVIN MY TIME AND EFFORTS TO ME..I'VE GONE TO CHURCH...I'VE PRAYED FOR A MAN WHO IS WORTHY OF ME..I ASK GOD TO DO WHAT HE KNOWS HOW..CAUSE I CAN NO LONGER FOLLOW THIS LIFE AS A WOMAN WITH NO ISLAND..THE PLACE I DREAMED SO MUCH ABOUT..WALKING ON THE BEACH..HAND AND HAND..LAUGHING...JOKING..ENJOYING MYSELF WITH A GENTLE...SWEET..SOFT..INNOCENT. KING OF THE JUNGLE ..BLACK STRONG INDIVIUAL..SO I GO ON MY WAY..GATHERING NUTS ON A TRIAL TO NOWHERE..COMING UP WITH NOTHING..LEAVING ME EMPTY...FUCKED UP IN DA HEAD...LOL..IT'S NO DIFFERENT FROM ANY OTHER DAY..SO I PICK MYSELF UP AND GET MYSELF TOGETHER..GOD SURE PUTS U THROUGH THE TEST OF TIME..FACING NOBODY TO LIFT SPIRITS...EXCEPT THE BEAUTY WITHIN YOUR SOUL..I MEANT EVERY WORD WHAT I FELT ABOUT LOVE..EVERY MOMENT...EVERY SINGLE ALIBI WHICH FELT EQUAL..CAME BACK WITH A SONG THAT LEFT ME SO HURT..BUT A LESSON LEARNED TO NEVER FOLLOW THAT DREAM U IMAGINE IN YOUR THOUGHTS..LET GOD HANDLE IT AND DON'T LOOK BACK..WELL..I HAVE SOMETHING TO CONFESS TO THE WORLD..I'M CURRENTLY A FEMALE WITH BLESSED GUIDING...I WAS SITTING AT THE TABLE..WITH MY GRANDCHILDREN...BLESSINGS WERE GIVEN AT THE LUNCHEON...WHERE I FELT SO PROUD OF MY DAUGHTER...SHE'S THE DIRECTOR IN CHARGED OF STEPPIN FOR CHRIST...WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR THEM TO PERFORM..I GOT FULL..TEARS STARTED FLOWING DOWN MY CHEEKS..I YELLED OUT SO LOUD.. WHILE OTHERS LOOKED ON..PEOPLE STARTED WALKING OVER TO ME...ASKED IS THAT YOUR DAUGHTER?..I REPLIED YES..SUDDENLY..ALL WAS WELL IN MY LIFE..A WOMAN WITHOUT LOVE BY A MAN IS NOT SO BAD...WHEN U LOOK AT WHAT GOD HAS DONE ..HE'S BLESSED YOU WITH ALL OF THE TALENT...AS WELL AS YOURSELF...(SMILING)..NO MORE TEARS..JUST JOY IN DA MORNING..HIM..I'LL NEVER FORGET...BUT MY HEART HAS OPENED WORLDS APART FROM BELIEVING A FANTASY..DOING GOOD THINGS FOR OTHERS..NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN...LESSONS LEARNED..GET OVER IT..U GOT SO MANY THAT LOVE YOUR FAMILY..U..KIDS..DON'T NEED THIS KIND OF LOVE...I'VE GOT ALREADY...SMILING...WHO AM I ..SHEILA T JORDAN.. THE FRIEND..THE DAUGHTER..THE COOK..THE FAVORS..THE COLLABORATOR...THE CHILD OF GOD..WHERE I AM LOVE...PEACE..THANK YOU LORD FOR MY LIFE..I'M TRULY GREATFUL.AS A RESULT...I MET A GENTLEMEN..WOW..FINE SWEET..WITH NO FAMILY HISTORY UNDER HIS BELT..HE WAS ADOPTED..HE'S FROM VERMONT..YEAH VERMONT..GO FIGURE..HE CAME TO THE ANNIVERSARY AT THE CHURCH...WHERE HE CONNECTED WITH ME..HE MET MY FAMILY..I MET HIS SON..HE'S THE SAME AGE AS MY GRANDSON...LOL..BOTH 10YRS..HE WAS IN TOWN FOR THE ANNIVERSARY..WHERE I MET HIS AUNT WHO RAISED HIM..HIS PARENTS ARE BOTH DESEASED..WHERE HE BECAME INTERESTED IN ME...NOW IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD..I WAS GIVEN A GIFT...THANK YOU FOR THE DAY..VINCE...WELCOME 2MY LIFE..I HAD A WONDERFUL WEEKEND..WITH A WONDERFUL GENTLE...YOUNGER...39 YEARS OLD.. A RETIRED ARMY VET..DIVORCED WITH CUSTODY OF HIS SON..HIS WIFE LEFT HIM..SHE DIDN'T WANT CHILDREN..SO THATS THAT....CAN'T SWING WITH THAT..I LOVE KIDS AND I ALWAYS WILL...MINE ARE MY BEST FRIENDS..NO REGRETS WHAT SO EVER...THEY KEEP ME GOING LIKE A LOVE THAT NEVER WAS...PEACE..CREATE

ONE"S OLOGY 2 ENDING

ONE WITH STYLE...ONE WITH A SMOOTH CRITERIA..ONE WITH A KEEN EYE..ONE WITH LOVE FOR MY PERSONA..ONE SOBER SENSE..ONE WITH A LIFE MEANT..ONE WITH A SECRET...ONE WITH A DRUM..ONE WHO BEATS LIKES RHYTHM CALLING IT'S PREY...ONE THAT HEARS..SEES..THINKS OF HER....CREATE...ONE IDEA THAT COMES 2 MIND...ONE LOVE THAT SPEAKS A WOMAN...ONE THAT WARMS HER HEART..ONE SINGLE TEARDROP...ONE HOLDING ON..ONE THAT MAKES YOU BELIEVE..IT'S RIGHT FROM THE START...ONE SEED FROM GOD'S MOLECULE...IN SCIENCE MIXED ONE THOUGHT...ONE DREAM..ONE MIRACLE...CALLED MALE...THE MAGIC WHICH GATHERS IT'S VITAMIN AND TAKES YOU EVERY MORNING..EATS YOUR INTENTIONS FOR ONE MORE EXAMPLE.. NEVER BE WITHOUT...WHERE GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD..HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON..DISPLAYS HIS HOLY ORDER...TO GRACE THE FOUNDATION OF WOMAN...ONE AS HIS LADY...ONE AS HIS GIRL ONE AS NO OTHER...ONE AS HIS EQUAL..A TERM IN WHICH EXPLAINS THE CHEMISTRY...COMBINES YOU FULLY..SHAKES HANDS AND MAKES ONE THE CEREMONY..A LOVE ONCE GIVEN...AS GOD PLACED YOU FOR...ONE DAY..BUT KNOW IT'S A THOUGHT WISHES..SEES NOTHING TAKES PLACE...UNTIL LIFE SAYS I DO..TIL DEATH DO U PART..WHERE I WANTED YOU 2BE MINES FOREVER....WHAT WAS I THINKIN..GOTTA BE OUT MY MIND..GET ME RIGHT GOD..I'VE BEEN WANDERING..WITH NO DESIRE 2 STRAIGHTEN THAT ONE OUT...SO I LEAVE...FINDING MYSELF ONE MORE CHANCE 2 SAY YES..BUT..IT'S NOT ME..IT'S 4 YOU..ONE WHO NEVER HAD BEEN PROPOSE 2...WISH IT WAS ME...WISH IT WAS ME..LIFE SUCKS SOMETIMES..AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER..A DREAM THAT LOST SLEEP...WANTING ONE LESS CRY..ONE MORE CHANCE IN MY LIFE..LEAVING FAST...STOPS TOMORROW..WHERE I AM 2 LATE..ONE MADE TWO..NOW U KNOW WHAT TO DO...IF IT YES..IS IT ME...I FANTASIZE A LOT..FORGIVE ME LORD...SOMETIME I FEEL...STUCK ON STUPID...CREATE.

THE IMPULSE 2 CHANGE WIRE

LET'S JUST SAY..I'M A CURCUIT...I'M DROWN TO SO MANY FACTERS ..THE KIND THAT DRAWS..THE KIND THAT ACTS LIKE A MAGNET..COMPEALLING ME TO RENDER MYSELF...TALKS WITH LANGUAGE OTHER THAT ENGLISH...STARING DOWN YOU THROAT...UNDRESSING YOUR PERCEPTION...THOUGHTS..PATTERNS...SO EAGER TO LAY ON YOU...STAY WITH YOU...CLING 2 U ..LIKE A WIRE..WRAPPED...SENDS VOLTAGES..ELECTROS RUN ALL THROUGH YOUR BODY..WHAT EQUALS THE 2...TAKING ME AWAY FROM WHAT'S UNPLUGGED...WHAT GENERATES THE MONTHS ..DAYS...WEEKS WITH NO PERFORMANCE...THE ONLY THING LEFT TO FEEL IS KISSING THAT LOVE WHICH RAGED AMONG TOTAL ADMIRATION AND SMILES..THAT WEARS HIM...GRIN..KEEP THE MEMORIES..MAKING IT EAZY TO FORGET..DUE TO NO SEXUAL CONTACT...YOUR LACK BUILDS NO FUTURE...YOU SOUL DESIRES NO TOUCH...NO GLANCE...NO FLESH BEARING EMOTION...U PRETEND...DOING THE SAME THANG..MAKES FOOLISH DECISIONS...YOU GO AND GET SOME BY FUCKIN UP IN ANOTHER PLACE..WITH NO INTENTION...IT BECOME THE GAME WORTH PLEASIN ME..WHAT THE HELL IS THERE LEFT..OTHER THAN..LAUGING AT ONESELF...THINKIN IT'S OK TO WET THAT CIRCLE OF LIFE..LEAVING A MARK ON YOUR STAINED HEART FOR SO MANY PASS MISTAKES..WHO CARES NOT FOR WHAT LIFE BRINGS..WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD..YOUR THE CLOWN FACED WITH A REPUTATION...SO COLD...BUT THE CHILL APPEARS THE ONLY SENSATION YOUR LEFT WITH..DON'T MEAN A DAMN THANG...JUST A BUNCH OF TALK...WITH NO NAME..RANK AND SERIAL NUMBER FOR MY FUTURE ENDEAVORS...WHAT DOES THIS STORY REPRESENT...A WOMAN'S WORTH...A MAN'S AMOUNT ON A SCALE OF SEVERAL..A LONG LINE OF FEMALES..HE SAYS ARE FRIENDS AND LOVERS ..BUT WHAT DOES THIS TELL U...FEELINGS TRIGGER THE FLAME TO FLICKER...RECHARGES THAT TIGGER...RAISES CURRENT AND AS A RESULT...THE WIRES CONNECT..LIGHTS YOUR WORLD..RADIANTS...THE FLOW WAKES...THE PAST COMES ALIVE AND STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN...WHERE I LEAVE NO SPARK INTENTED...IN MY HEART..I HAVE BEEN FUCKED...BUT..I NEVER REALLY KNEW ABOUT WAITING FOR A LOVER WITH NO CONNECTION 2 WIRES...2 BRING US AS ONE DAY AT A TIME...WHERE MINES RUSHED IN A FOOL...AND LEFT ALONE..TIME AND TIME ..OVER AND OVER AGAIN...SO DAMN TIRED...IT'S NOT WORTH ME GETTING LEFT UNWIRED...SO I'M UNPLUGGED...BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY..PEACE..CREATE

THE PLEASURE OF FREEDOM

YOUR SOUL COMES TO REST ASSURE..IT'S BROKEN DREAMS YOU'VE HELD ONTO..YOUR THOUGHTS..THATS BEEN TAMPERED WITH..YOUR ANGER LEAVES LESSONS STILL..AS YOUR WEARING YOU WHILE COMING HOME...THINKIN...WILL NEVER BE THE SAME..BUT REMAINS A MIND LEAVING ME WHERE I WAS..STAYS THERE AFTER I COME HOME...MANY YEARS AGO...IT WAS DIFFERENT..I GAVE MYSELF TO A LIFE HANGIN..DOING..PURSUING A LIFE WITHOUT GAIN...BUT KNOWING MY WORTH WAS VALUABLE...MY MAINFRAME WAS UNEVITABLE..MY SHAME..WAS OBVIOUSLY A SMACK IN MY FACE..CALLING ME..WHERE I SHOULD HAVE LOOKED THE OTHER WAY...WHERE I USED TO PLAY ON DECISIONS AND GET PASSED THESE DAMN MOMENTS...THESE GUN SLINGINGS...THESE MORALS STATURES...WHERE LACK REACHED TO THE PEAK OF MILLIONS..SEEING MY NICHE AS A DRUG...FEELING CASH DOLLARS WHERE I'VE BECOME...DA PEAK OF PERFECTION...NOT BELIEVING I WAS NON-PRODUCTIVE..WHERE THE CHASE GAVE WAY TO..PRISON..DAMN...WHAT HAVE I DONE..BROKEN..AWAY FROM MY MOM..MY FAMILY..MY FREEDOM..WHERE I'VE BECOME..LOST IN A JUNGLE..WHERE MINDS CONVERSE..DESTRUCTIVE..SEEING NO BEAUTY..JUST MALES..KEEPIN ME UP AND DISCARRIAGED...THINKIN I WAS OUTSIDE..26..BUT INSIDE OF LEARNING VACILITY LIFE..AWAY FROM ALL MY PEEPS AND NEIGHBORHOOD FEMALES...WHICH KEPT ME ON MY TOES AND TOOK CARE OF MY PERSONAL NEEDS..WHAT A FUCKIN TRIP THIS IS...LOCKING ME UP..I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO BE IN HERE...BUT I GOTTA DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES...WHAT'S HAS BEEN JEPORDIZED...IS BY MY OWN DOING...I GOT SO MANY WHO CARE SO MUCH..BUT LIVING THIS LIFE LIKE A JUVENILE DEFENDER...HAS TAKEIN ME BAC A WAYS..IT'S A DAMN SAME...WHEN WILL I BECOME AN ADULT WITH WALKIN RELEASE PAPERS...WHILE PAROLE KEEPS REMINDING ME..I CAN'T GO PASS STOP..LIVING ON DA EDGE OF BEING RELEASED YEARS.. DOWN DA ROAD..NOT FEELIN FREE AT ALL...THIS IS SLAVERY ALL OVER AGAIN...A SHOE WEARING NO LACES...CONTRABANE...WORKING FOR MY PAY..GET MONEY..TO BUY MY TOILETRIES..SOAP..TOOTHPASTE..ETC..I CAN'T PRETEND THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN...WHEN EVERYDAY I WANNA GO OUTSIDE AND VENTURE WITH EVERY BREATH OF LIFE THAT CONTINUES TO KEEP ME ALIVE...I'M NO MISTAKES ..LIFE...YOU CAN'T MAKE ME FEEL DEPRIVED OR ANGRY ANY LONGER...WHERE I GO AND WHAT I DO..STRICKLY WORKS ON MY PERCEPTION..MY GOALS..MY FUTURE...THIS DAMN PAROLE TAKES AWAY FROM BEING A MAN THAT DECIDES HIS OWN FATE..BUT AT THE PRICE OF DROPPIN DOWN AND FACING THE POLICE..I BECAME THIS G WITHA PLAN..WHAT BACKFIRED..BECAME DAYS AND NIGHTS IN SAN QUENTIN..LOCKED DOWN..WITH A HARD ON FOR WOMEN...ESCAPISM...WITH TIME REPEATING YEARS LEFT BEHIND...WHERE I DIE..NOT KNOWING ..WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED...TODAY..A YOUNGMAN..LIVING IN A OLDER IMAGE..I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT...PLEASE ARE YA LISTENING...FAMILY...I'M BACK...ALIVE...WORKING..TAKING CARE OF ME..PAROLE..YOU BE GOOD YA HEAR..COZ I'M GOING PLACES..WHERE I KNOW I AM STILL MY OWN WORST ENEMY..WITH THAT DRIGGER..BUT..THE FIGHT IS OVER..GOD HAS A NEW LIFE..WITH NEW FRIENDS AND NEW VISIONS..WHAT'S LEFT..OH YEAH..2 NEVER BECOME THE PASS..PLAYING TRICKS WITH MY PERFORMANCE...THE GIFTS OF SAVING MYSELF..NAMING ME...CRIMINAL MINDED...THE ARTIST...ACTOR POET...ENTERTAINER...PEACE OUT..WHAT SPEAKS OUT..IN BEHAVE OF HER MAIN G...GOD BLESS YOU..I PRAY FOR U EVERY NIGHT..SPEAK TO GOD ABOUT YOU IN SILENCE..WHERE I CARE SO DEARLY..CREATE

I WAS STOOD UP..BEING REAL..BUT...GAVE MUCH RESPECT..

IN THE EVENT...LOVE GRABS A HOLD OF YOUR FEMININE CRITIQUE...TAKES U ON A DATE...KEEPS U HAPPY FOR SEVERAL HOURS..PLAYS WITH YOUR SMILE...STAYS IN YOUR CORNER CONFIDES IN YOUR LIFE..WHAT BEAUTY SHOWS...YOU ARE A BLESSED DAUGHTER..A WONDERFUL WOMAN..A LOVELY HUMAN BEING...WHAT ATTRACTS PEOPLE OF DA UNIVERSE...THE SCENE IS LONG TIME FRIENDS WITH...FUN AND ACTIVE MOTIONS...A GIFT WHILE GROWING TO ADULTHOOD...HOPING THIS LIFE WITHIN YOU..CREATES A GOOD SPIRIT WITH LOVE UNCONDITIONAL...UNTIL U SEEN NO FRIENDSHIP..LOOKED BEYOND THE CODE OF ETHICS WHERE I GREW A VERY HEALTHY WOMAN...THE TYPE WHICH SHOWING..NO STRUGGLE..NO FEAR OF BECOMING..THAT LOVELY SWAN LAKE...A FLOWER WITH WHICH SENDS AN AROMA OF SWEET CARAMEL ..A SUGA..LACED WITH HER OWN BODY FLUID...SHE RADIANCE..SHE SIZZLES..HER LIGHT BROWN EYES..HER SOFT..WELL DEVELOPED..LIPS..THAT HAS KISSED THIS MOMENT IN TIMES OF LONELINESS...SUDDENTLY BECOMES...THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS..KNOWLINGLY..I'M NOT WHO BRINGS STRUCTURE...BUT HE NEVER GOES UNSAID IN MY CALIBER...I RESPECT HIS LOVE AS A NEIGHBOR..HE NEVER FORGETS MY BIRTHDAY..ALWAYS LEAVES A CARD IN MY SHUTE IN FRONT OF MY DOOR..WITH HIS GENTLE HEARTED SELF..MY OLD FRIEND I GREW UP WITH.. BAC IN DA DAYS..LIVING HERE IN QUEENS...NOW...WERE THE OLDER GENERATION WHICH PLAYED IN THIS AREA..WE BECAME BEST FRIENDS...THE LAST OF OUR WHITE NEIGHBORS..STILL PRESIDES HEREON THE BLOCK OF 131ST AND SUTTER AVE...I NEVER TOOK NOTICE AS THE YEARS MOVED ON...THERE WAS AN ATTRACTION TO ME...UNTIL...EVERY YEAR I WOULD RECIEVE A CARD FOR MY BIRTHDAY FROM HIM..WHEN I OPENED THE CARD..MY EYE OPENED WIDE..HE WILL GIVE ME MONEY...NOT A LITTLE EITHER..THIS GUY GAVE ME HUNDRED..50.00...60.00 DOLLARS..WITH NO QUESTIONS ASKED..ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY SHEILA...I'M LIKE...WHAT ARE YOU DOING...SANDY..GIVING ME SO MUCH CASH...HIS REPLY WAS..IT'S JUST MONEY ..OF WHICH I HAVE TO GIVE A NICE YOUNG WOMAN I LIKE VERY MUCH...I PAUSED..SAID...BUT AREN'T YOU TAKING CARE OF YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITIES..HE REPLIED..SHEILA..I WAS AN EX ARMY VET..I RECIEVE MONEY FOR MY INJURIES..AND I REPLIED ..INJURIES....WHERE?...HE SHOWED ME..ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD..HE HAS A PLATE..METAL..FROM BEING ATTACKED ON DA BASE FOR LOOKING AT ANOTHER'S MAN WIFE..WHO WAS BLACK..BEING.. SANDY LIKES BLACK WOMAN..HE'S BEEN DATING THIS SAME GIRL FOR 15 YEARS...I NEVER KNEW THIS..BUT HE'S BEEN AROUND ME QUITE A BIT..SO I ASK..WHATS GOING ON WITH KIM...HE REPIED..HOME..AT HER PLACE IN FLUSHING..WHERE WE LIVE TOGETHER..SO I ASK HIM..WELL..IF THIS IS GOING ON WITHYA..WHY YOU BEEN GIVING ME...MY GRANDCHILDREN..MY DAUGHTER..TAMMY..EVERY YEAR..HE NEVER FORGETS OUR BIRTHDAYS..HE SAID..BECAUSE YOU THE ONLY FAMILY IN THIS AREA..THAT EXCEPTS ME FOR WHO I AM..ALWAYS TREATED ME GOOD..YOUR KIDS ARE WONDERFUL..DID A GOOD JOB RAISING THEM..SO MANABLE..HAPPY ALL THE TIME..SPEAKS WITH RESPECT...TIRED OF SEEING U WITHOUT A MAN.. LOOK SO LONELY ALL THE TIME..BUT YOU COVERS IT UP A LOT..USE TO SEEING U WITH MALE FRIENDS..HANGIN OUT..GOING TO THE WBLS SHOWS WITH THE RADIO PERSONALITIES..WHEN U WAS A STAFF MEMBER..PARTYING ALL THE TIME..SO IF IT'S ALLRIGHT WIT YA..I WANTED 2 SHOW Y'ALL SOME LOVE...IF THAT'S ALRIGHT WIT YOU.. SHEILA..THIS MADE MY DAY...CHANGED MY WHOLE OUTLOOK ON LIFE AND WHAT IT SHOWS YOU ABOUT SOME PEOPLE WITH HEARTS...NEAR..AS WELL AS FAR.. AS YOUR EYES WILL TAKE 2 FOCUS AND BELIEVE ...SO IF I STOPPED DOING THESE THINGS LONG TIME AGO...SANDY KEPT THIS UP UNTIL LAST MONTH..WHERE I ASKED HIM TO STOP..BECAUSE HE'S NOT TREATING HIS GIRL RIGHT ..HELPING ME..WHERE HE ASK ME OUT FOR MY BIRTHDAY..AND I SAID YES..WHERE HE WAS SUPPOSE TO TAKE ME TO DINNER..I ASKED HIM TO BRING KIM..WHERE HE GOT SILENT..HE WOULDN'T BRING HIS GIRL ALONG..SO I DECLINED..DROPPED THE DATE..HIS MENTAL DISABILITIES..DIDN'T HANDLE IT TOO WELL..HE HASN'T BEEN SEEN SINCE.AND HIS SISTER TOLD ME HE HASN'T BEEN AROUND TO CHECK ON THEIR MOM IN A WEEK THAT'S NOT LIKE SANDY.TO STAY AWAY FROM THE HOUSE THIS LONG..SO I ASKED ABOUT HIM EVERY DAY AND GO TO SEE HIS MOM..WHERE SHE'S SO SWEET..SHE CAN'T SEE..HER EYS WENT ON HER TOO..LIKE MY MOM..WHERE MY MOTHER HAD AN OPERATION..SHE'S CAN SEE..HIS MOM CAN'T..I REMEMBER GROWING UP SEEING HER AND HER HUSBAND..WHOSE NOW DESEASED..ALONG WITH MANY OTHERS..IT'S SO STRANGE ..YOU'LL NEVER REALLY KNOW HOW SOMEONE FEELS ABOUT YOU..UNTIL YOU ASK..WHICH I HAD NO NERVE,,BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE..IF U ASK ME..I'LL TELL YA THE TRUTH..NO..I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH SANDY OR ANYONE FROM NYC..EXCEPT MY MOM...MY KIDS..GRAND..BROTHERS AND SISTER..OTHER SIS IN COLORADO SPRINGS..FAMILY NEAR AND FAMILY FAR..WHICH I DO LOVE DEARLY...THIS MAN WAS HAS BEEN A FRIEND WITH ME AND HIS SISTERS FOR YEARS..NOW WE'RE ALL GROWN..I FIND OUT..HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME..U KNOW WHO TOLD ME...ALL OF THEM...YESTERDAY...MY HEART FELL IN2 MY LAP..DAMN..IT HURTS..U NEVER KNOW..YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW..HOW A PERSON FEELS ..UNTIL IT'S MENTIONED FROM THE HEART...HIS MOTHER...DAMN..I AM SO SHOCKED..NOT MY THANG....U KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN..BUT RESPECT THE SENTIMENT TOTALLY..THANKS ..SANDY FOR EVERYTHING..YOUR A WONDERFUL PERSON...BUT I WALK ALONE NOW..BEING FRIENDS AND INFLUENCING PEOPLE THAT HAVE NO HEART..TO CHANGE THEIR WAYS AND GIVE TO GOD FOR WHAT THEY NOT KNOW.THANK YOU SANDY..I WILL GET IT BAC..BUT..WHEN GOD SAYS SO..UNTIL THEN..MAY GOD BLESS YOU..THANKS FOR LISTENING READERS...PEACE..CREATE

PERSONAL THOUGHTS

HELLO..VISITOR...WELL.. IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I HEARD FROM YOU...WHERE YA BEEN ..WHAT YOU BEEN UP TO...HAVE U BEEN TOUCHIN..THOUGHTS BABY..I'VE MISSED YOUR GUT INSTINCT..YOUR MIND IS SO PURPOSELY WANTED..IN TIMES OF LONESOME CRIES AND HEAVEN PASSIONATE NAUGHTY..WHAT..U LEAVE ME WITH..WHEN TEMPER'S FLY..WHEN THOUGHT COMES WITH SOME BULL..TALKING SHIT I DON'T CARE 2 MENTION...A SMILE WORKS OUT 4 ME..JUST FINE...YOU..DA MOOD IS IN MY PRIVATE STASH OF LOVE BITING VICTIMS...WHAT CUMS FOR A VISIT..NOT WANTING IT 2 B THEM..BUT..WANNA BE IN2 YOUR SPACE..CLINGING ON TO YOUR THIGHS..RUBBIN YOUR BULGIN.TRICEPTS..BUILDING UP MOISTURE..WHERE I BECOME LINKEGE..YOUR SWEAT..PUMPIN..NOT IRONS ..YOU..MY TENDER PLAYMATE...GOOD LOVIN.. AS YOUR BODY WOULD HAVE ME...I'M HOT ALWAYS..YOU MAKE ME HOLLA..LIKE A ANIMAL WITH HEAT EXPOSURE..YOUR EYES ..GODDAMN..WHERE ARE YA NOW..I WANNA TOUCH U DOWN LOW..DEEP..THE FIT IS SO CALM...MELLOW...SWEET..LIKE DA KISS. WHEN YOU TURN AND SWAY..LEAVING YOUR FOOTPRINTS ON MY MENTIONABLES..TURNING ME INTO YOUR SEXUAL OMEN..YEARNING 2 BE SUCKED..WAY DOWN MY ALLEYWAY..BEHIND CLOSED DOORS..WRITING..WHERE WE CLIMAX..SPELLING LUSTFUL OVULATIONS..TAKING IT 2 A LONELY PLACE..WHERE I AM..WHAT I WANT..WHERE U ARE...FAR FROM ME...HOT AS HELL..WHERE I THROB CONSTANTLY...NON-STOP CONSTANTLY..4U...DA DREAM..CUMMING...SENDS ME PACKING...SOON...NAUGHTY..NAUGHTY..NAUGHTY..LET ME BEHAVE MYSELF...WHILE THINKIN...SHAME ON U...OH!!..I GOT YA WANTING...CUM RIGHT NOW..I'LL WRAP U IN MY CONSCIENCNESS..WE'LL GET LOST..WHERE U BE FINE IN2 ME...DOING DA NAUGHTY..SWEET RHAPSODY IN LOVE...BEAT..WEARS ME OUT..SLEEPS..GOODNIGHT MY JUICE..I'VE HAD ENUFF OF YOUR VITAMIN C-EFFISCENCY..I'M STRAIGHT..ALL IS GOOD..THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT..IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME...CUMMIN..LOVIN...WAITING4...MY DREAM..CREATE

A NIGHT OF RECITAL..2STAGE THEATRE WITH RUSSELL

THE NIGHT WAS BEAUTIFUL HERE IN NY..I HAD A FEW MINS LEFT GETTING READY TO GO...THE TIME WAS 5:44P.M...I HAD MY OUTFIT READY..MY SHOWER..MY HAIR WAS WET...SO I DRIED..ADDED MY GEL...SPRAYED MY BODY UP..NOW I'M GETTING IT TOGETHER...THE EVENING ROLLED AROUND..WHERE TIME WAS GETTING CLOSER TO SHOWTIME...I GOT MY MAP SEARCH GOING...IT'S 6:00..STARTED GETTING DRESSED..I'M VERY HYPER NOW...CAN'T WAIT TO GOT GOING...AFTER FIXING A LITTLE SNACK..FED MY FAMILY...I'M OUT..HEADED DOWN THE BLOCK TO CATCH THE BUS...RUNNING IN2 PEEPS..WANNA CHAT..DON'T HAVE TIME...GOTTA CATCH THAT DAMN BUS..PEOPLE WANNA TALK..GOTTA GO YALL..LET ME GET GOING..BYE...THE BUS IS STILL PARKED..WHAT'S THE DEAL BUSDRIVER..WHY YOU NOT LEAVING..NOW HERE HE COMES..YA SEE..THAT'S THE LAST STOP ON BUS ..SO I ASK FOR THE TIME..MY WATCH STOPPED WORKING...IT'S 6:55...WHAT..I'M LATE...HERE WE GO ...THE BUS IS LEAVING..FINALLY..IT TAKES ME 15 MINS TO THE SUBWAY FROM ROCKAWAY BLVD...OK...WE GET TO THE SUBWAY..IT'S NOW 7:38...I'M GAGGIN..I SUPPOSE TO BE AT THE THEATRE BY 8:00..WERE STILL IN QUEENS...WHAT THE HELL HAPPEN....NOW I'M IN TROUBLE...WELL...YOU COULD IMAGINE WHAT HAPPEN NEXT...THE TRAIN ARRIVED..WE LEAVE FROM SUTPHIN BLVD...WE PULL OUT..I GET IN DA CITY AT...8:28..I WAS LATE BY 28 MINS..THE DOORS AT THE THEATRE WAS LOCKED ALREADY..THE TICKET WINDOW HAS IT'S BLINDS DOWN..THE PERFORMANCE STARTED WITHOUT ME..I HAD A FIT..BUT..A GENTLEMEN THAT CLEANES THE THEATRE..SAW ME CRYING IN DA CORRIDOR...ASK ME IF I WAS ONE OF THE ACTORS FRIENDS..I SAID..YES..IT'S MY SON .HE'S PERFORMING INSIDE..WELL..GUESS WHAT HAPPEN...I GOT INSIDE..HE SNUCK ME IN...I WASN'T SUPPORT TO BE LET IN..THEY HAD A NOTE ON THE DOOR TO THE FRONT ENTRANCE..IT STATED.. QUOTE...ANY LATECOMERS ..WERE NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER ..COMEBACK> NEXT WEEK...WHAT!!!!WASN'T EVEN LEAVING...HE WAS A VERY NICE GENTLEMEN..SAW ME UPSET..SPOKE TO THE DIRECTOR OF THE RECITAL...WHERE HE SAID..SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH SO MUCH TO SEE YOUR SON..YOU TRAVELED FAR..I REPLIED..YES..I DID..SO AS A RESULT..THE STORYLINE WAS SIMPLE..WHEN WATER BECOMES MORE VALUABLE THAN OIL..A FARMER FINDS HIMSELF CAUGHT BETWEEN THE LAW AND DOING WHAT HE THINKS IS RIGHT..THE TITLE: "WITCHING WATER" BY BRONWYN CLARK...DIRECTED BY HONDO WEISS-RICHARD.. FINDS ITSELF A THOUGHT ..HOW WATER CHANGES AND OIL DON'T RELATE TO WHAT'S MORE VALUABLE..WATER OUTLIVES WHAT GOD INTENDS TO GROW AND PROSPER...HOW IMPORTANT AGRICULTURE BATTLES THE COST.. OUR RESERVIORS COMPLAINING..WHERE OIL IS COSTING..BUT IN LIFE..THEY BOTH REQUIRES WHAT'S ALIVE..KEEPS LIVING..WITH.THE NEED 2 SAVE..CONSERVE..STOP LOOKING AT IT AS A WORLD DIGGING A HOLE AND BURYING OURSELVES ..WHERE LIFE BARGAINS WITH FOREIGN GOVT TAKING CONTROL AND NOT HAVING ANY MEANS 2 NEGOTIATE..POLLUTES DECISIONS...KEEPS WAR WHERE MONEY SPEAKS..AND OIL CONSERVATION..CAN'T BE DA SUBSTITUTE CLEANING..WHERE CROPS ARE STERILIZED..SPRAYED BY PESTISIDES..IT'S OUR FUTURE AT HAND..WITH MINDS WHO DEFENDS...NO FUTURE ECONOMICS..WHERE WE HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE BUT..A MAN AND HIS BUSINESS...FINDS HIMSELF UP AGAINST OIL DISASTER..BUT DA NEED OF WATER FOR HIS GREEN EARTH..LOOSING CROPS..WHERE OIL PLANTERY BECOMES DA DEBATE...MY SON HAD THE LEAD ROLE..HE ACTED HIS ASS OFF..THE CAST WAS NEAT..A WELL EXPLANATORY CONCEPT OF VISUALS..GIVE YA SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT...THANKS TO HIS CO-STARS..GWEN EYSTER..JOHN MICHALSKI...RICHARD SAUDEK..ALL WERE EXCELLENT...AFTER..WE CELEBRATED ...OFF TO CHEVY'S BAR AND GRILL AT 42ST..FOR COCKTAILS.. A VERY ENJOYABLE NIGHT..THANK YOU FOR LISTENING...THANK'S SON...FOR A GOOD TIME..CREATE