today's thoughts/Goodbye Auntie

It's tuesday...where am i going...to virginia...it's coming to a close...the face of my mom...her sister..my aunt...have 2 get myself together...say goodbye...what a drag...don't want this to take place..living one moment..looking at a casket the next...i always imaged what it's like..i knew there would come a day to let them all go...sadness been playing a part so many times...3 ...to be exact...preparation makes me feel...i'm as close as a will..planning... what must be done...for my children...u leave them..but u have no funds to spread among your lifeline...a family..my grandchildren..and then some...when my eyes look beyond this point and time...i get very emotional...reject going home...where seed procreates the begin...not...leave the flesh and blood human...from the cradle 2 the grave...how final is that..although..i know this is the process to regain heaven...let go of earth's beginning...your growth doesn't appear...unless it's mention...older...time passed so suddenly..wanna do more...wanna be the example...to change the system...we read so critical...so demanding...orders...how we speak...talk to one another...to stand at a podium...annouce yourself as create..da title...with eyes looking on in amazement..be proud to know..you life wasn't left in vain..but love lives inside this life...what more can u give...how much time is left for yourself...when i see the future in my sight...my book...a warm country cottage..with a home...acres of land...a quiet place...a good man...compassion...to take care of u....wow..that's what my aunt mattie bullock had...a woman who never had children...married twice..where her last love..my uncle george..was the da best..he left her in many years bac...but..i never experience a love so beautiful in all my birth..they owned and operated a funeral home..both..mortisans...burying others...now i'm witnessing hers...kinda weird...my mom was floored...was a rough 4 days so far...at 96..she's still with us...how did we tell her...very cautiously..but suprisingly enough...she shocked all of us..she handled it like a trooper...told me..i'm fine my baby daughter...you are why i hold on...my family..i love you all...but that night..i went to her room...where i knocked..she din't answer..i heard her crying..i opened..where she looked up at me and said...hold me please..i need a hug...at that moment...i cried with her..must we go through this all over again...i'm saying goodbye now...aunt kitty (aka) mattie u will be missed..like her husband used to say...SUGAHPIE..WERE INSEPARABLE..NOW THERE TOGETHER...Peace..Create

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