SURVIVAL

WHAT DABBLES INTO MORTAL MAYHEIM..LIVES DAY BY DAY..COURAGEOUSLY FORMING A SENSE OF PRIDE IN WHO YOU ARE AS..WOMAN..TO A WORLD WHICH FACES CHANGE AND CARRIES WEIGHT AMONG THE PASSION OF CHRIST..JESUS..TO LIVE HIS WAY OR BE GONE..WITHIN YOUR INNER CHILD...I'VE BEGAN TAKING A CLOSE LOOK AT PEOPLE..THE SPOTLIGHT WHICH PLAYS AN ACT OF FALSEHOOD IN MY HEART..WHERE BETRAYAL IS GROWING RAPIDLY..ASKED SO MANY QUESTIONS RELATED TO FEELINGS..MY INNER CHILD'S WAY TO HANDLE WHAT CAN'T ESCAPE.. WHAT KEEPS YEARS REFUSING TO EXCEPT LIFE..CROSSED..AS THE CLOCK TICKS..IT'S HANDS TALK..IT LETS YOU KNOW..THE VISION OF STAYING IN TUNE WITH WHAT YOU ARE..WHAT YOU WANNA 2 BE AND WHO TAKES CHARGE OF SHEILA..YOU OR THE SPIRIT WHICH LIVES INSIDE.. ON FEB 14..I WAS HANDED DOWN AN REALITY CHECK..NO..NOT CASH..NOR A LOOK OF CONFUSION..JUST A WAKE UP CALL..I CAN'T GET OVER..MY SOCIAL LIFE WAS PUT ON HOLD..DUE TO A HUMAN BEING..I GAVE MY ALL TO..NEVER..EVER WENT THAT FAR FOR A MAN..BUT I DID..IT WAS LIKE I WAS HYPNOTIZED..WHERE MY EYES MADE CONTACT WITH A HEART OF GOLD..I STARTED VISUALIZING MYSELF IN THEIR COMFORT ZONE..FEELING THEM IN MY CIRCLE..A FULL 360 DEGREES OF GENERIC HARMONE..WALKING AROUND MY EMPTY SPACE..ACTUALLY GRINNING..IMAGINING IT WAS A PAGE IN MY BOOK..I NEEDED TO HAVE AND WOULDN'T CLAIM ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL LIVING WHERE THEY MARINATED..MELTING EVERY SINGLE PART OF MY BEING WHAT WAS FELT..SO I STARTED WRITING A BOOK..EXAMINING A CLOSED ROOMS WITH CANDLES BURNING AND SUCCULENT SAGE..WITH MOISTURE CAPTIVATED BY OUR LIPS.AND PULSATING HEART..I STARTED TOUCHING..GRABBBING..HUGGING MY MIND..I WORE NO SHEETS OR GARMENTS..I REFUSED 2 BE LET DOWN..SO I CREATED A BREW OF PASSION FRUITS..2 TASTE..LEFT ON THE SIDE OF MY NIGHT STAND..NOW REMEMBER..I ALLOW MYSELF TO EMERGE IN CLOSE PROXIMITY..PLANNING HOW I WOULD SEDUCE MY VICTIM..I WOULD LEAR THEM INSIDE MY INNER CHILD..START PLAYING..BY RUBBING THEIR ARMS..CHEST.. ANTAGONIZING MY BODY..LICKING THEM UNTIL ALL OF THERE FLESH WAS WET BEYOND MEANS OF PERFECTION..LOOSING OURSELVES..FOR I WAS WHAT CARRIED A LONG..LONG THANG FOR THIS SPIRIT IN ME FOR THEM..DO U KNOW HOW IT IS TO WEAR THE FLESH OF A MAN WITHOUT HIS SURFACE..WITHOUT KNOWING HIM FORMALLY..HIS EYES CONTACT..WHICH REFLECT OFF ON..HOW DOES IT FEEL..ME..WELL..U CAN IMAGINE HOW THIS WAS DRIVING ME TO THE POINT OF WHERE I JUST WOULD BREAK DOWN AND BITE MY WORDS EVERY TIME I WANTED THIS MAN..THE NERVE ENDINGS WERE IN CONTROL..BUT MY HEART STARTED RACING OUT OF CONTROL..FOR MORE THAN A YEAR..I PLAYED ON IT..FIGHTING THE FORCES..PREVENTING MYSELF TO BE TOGETHER.. WHEN THE TRUTH WAS..I WASN'T AT ALL..THIS BEAUTIFUL CURRENT..DRAWING HIMSELF TO ME..STUCK IN POSITION..AT..HOME..IN BED..OUTSIDE..IN THE PARK..EVERYWHERE I WANTED TO HAVE HIM..THE GENTLEMAN FEELS IT'S A FUNNY THANG..TO SEDUCE.. CUDDLE..AS A WEB..LIKE A SPIDER..AS THE DAYS ..WEEKS ..WENT ON..THINGS STARTED TAKING PLACE IN MY HOME..SICKNESS..PAIN..DEATH..STRESS..LONELINESS...ANGER..SELFISHNESS.. ARGUEMENTS..DRINKING..SMOKING..DATING..BLOWING THINGS OUTTA PROPORTION..LEFT HOME FOR AWHILE..SILENCE AND NO POETRY WRITING..NO HEARING FROM OTHERS INTERESTED IN THE CONCEPT OF INTEREST..THEN THE GIGS..THE AFTER NIGHT PARTIES.. THE NOT WANTING TO FACE THE TRUTH ..THERE WAS LOVE GOING ON IN MY MIND..SO I GOT MAD..IT WAS NOTHING FOR ME TO GET MY SWERVE ON..I JUST BEEN VERY NUMB.. BITTER..WHAT I SAW WAS BULLSHIT...NOT RIGHT..UNTIL THE NIGHT OF MY GIG IN THE BOWERY..I STARTED THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH WORK WAS PUT INTO THIS PARTNERSHIP HOW LOVE FOR ME WAS INVISIBLE..BUT..GOT OTHERS THANKING ME ABOUT MY PERFORMANCE..STILL..HOLDING BACK THE TEARS..AFTER I GOT HOME..I SAID I'M GONNA LET IT GO..ASKING MYSELF..WHAT THE HELL IS THIS FOR..ONCE MORE I LET MYSELF BECOME AN OUTCAST..VALENTINE'S DAY ARRIVE..GAVE MYSELF TO MY DAUGHTER..GOT RESPECT WATCHED SOME MOVIES..WENT TO SLEEP..PREPARED MYSELF FOR ANOTHER DAY OF FAMILY..ROUTINES..THOUGHTS WENT RACING THROUGH MY BRAIN AND THEN CAME HIM.. ON THE COMPUTER..RETURNING WORDS..I NEVER MEANT..YOU ARE THE BEST THING I HAVE MET IN YEARS..BUT TO WRITE U OFF..THE TRUTH WAS MY REALITY..I'M IN LOVE...HARD.. JEALOUSY.. CAN'T RESPONSE.AS MUCH AS I WANTED TO..AND THERE U HAVE IT..A TALE OF 2 LIL TOO LATE FOR SORRY...NOT MUCH COMPANY FOR ANYBODY..SO PEOPLE STARTED DROPPING OFF AS MY VISION..SAID GOODBYE..KNOW ALL THE TIME..I CAN'T.. IT HURTS LIKE HELL THOUGH..YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL LIFE IN MINE AND YOU ALWAYS WILL B..I'M HOLDING ON..DISTANCE SHAKES AND TREMBLE ..AT THE MARE MENTION OF YOUR NAME..I GET BUTTERFLIES..THE HEART DROPS INTO MY LAP..THIS IS WHAT YOU DO..TO A QUEEN..BEEN...PEACE CREATE

valentine..babysitting...gave my daughter and hubby a night out...

just thought i mention...in new jersey...after a long day..taking care of the children for tiki and Ian...watched tv..set me up..while they was out on the town..the doorbell rings...flowers for was delivered... so i signed my name...brought them inside..thinking they was for my daughter..long behold..they was for me..my kids are a trip...my grand started laughing..gave me kisses and hugs..thanks family...i love you too.. happy VALENTINES DAY TO MY FRIENDS..ALL OF YOU..LOVE IS HERE 2 STAY.. COZ I NEVER CHOOSE 2 HATE ANYONE...A THOUGHT.. "HURTING" A LOT..IT STILL REMAINS IN AFFECT..BUT..WHAT WAS MY DECISION..i had to BREAK AWAY..YA KNOW..GOD BLESSYOU..FOREVER..FOR ALWAYS..FOR ... L O V E...SIGNED...S H E I L A ...2.. M Y I M A G I N A T I O N..FEELING...Y O U

lyrical splender/black history month/valentine day spoken word

i have lived to be among the rank..tonite..i gave my all..everything..this to shall pass..proverbs say..when i took that podium among the 10 speakers..i had no idea what was upon me..but i felt so damn good..that i almost lost my train of thought...why...there was two very important people who was watching us..i had no idea who was in the audience until our night had ended and the lights came on..nobody but the people from writer's guild and actors guild in the house..when they approached us..they ask my name and well..this is it sheila ..i said..can't back down now..i told them who i was and mr williams smiled and said..your words were very ..in his words ~aural~..expressive and very well originated..and to think it was just a month ago i started branching out..not feeling as though..i was an interest for such admiral...the night turned out beautiful..my son was the one who mention it to his producer and well she's a doll..her character and wit..prepares you for stardom..the conversation went well..i love my son very much for my back..where lines suddenly showed ..i was heard by a like of dignitaries tonight..in poetry..writing skills and screen editing..i got to sit in on a discussing of different ways to articulate speech patterns..what moves the audienc ..not only with drama and magnetude..but in making the crowd wanna get involved with your speech..improvising..touch..joy..connection..all the above..i got in at 12:01am. on the nose..i feel so good..about Russell..THE DIRECTOR in charge wants to put him in more of her work..she told me how much she loves him..i truly am blessed ..thank God for survival and believe..when your time comes calling..u must proceed in motion..poetically..fundamentally..any means necessary..curtain call..open up your mouth and let it happen..just flowwwwwwwwww yourway to stardom..lord..i thank u..always and forever..peace..Create

PRETTY POISON..DA EVE /YOUR DESTRUCTION

I ROSE ABOVE MY NATURE..2 FEEL A THORN..WHAT STUCK IN MY HEART..WHAT BROKE THE SOUND...WHAT WAS PUNISHMENT..ME..WHAT WAS FOUND FROM LOST..ME..A PICTORIAL OF ASSERTION..DRAWN..A FIGMENT..A LAUGH..THE JOKES ON ME..BEING TAKING ADVANTAGE OF..DA CORE OF AN APPLE..THE EVE OF PASSION FRUIT..THE WAYS OF A MAN..THE THOUGHT OF A VINE..THE BEATINGS CONTINUES..VIOLENCE BRINGS NO REMOVAL..EVEN WHEN IT'S SPOKEN..IN TERMS OF NOT KNOWING ..HOW IT SOUNDS..YOU STOMPED AND STOMPED ON MY APPROVAL...BUT PLAYED ON WHAT WAS TRUTHFUL..I STRAY FROM WICKED OUTRAGE..I TRY TO FEEL MYSELF IN2 BEING SAVED..I SOMETIME GAVE MYSELF A TAP ON THE BAC..SAID..SUCH A WONDERFUL WORLD I LIVE IN..NIDDA..NOOKIE NOSH..BULL..ALTHOUGH I..AM YOUR SMILE..A SOFT..TENDER MOMENT..MAKING IT SOOOOOO DIGNIFIED..SO DELIGHTFUL..I FELT A SLOW HAND..A CHILLNESS..GO PASS MY NECK.. BEHIND EAR LOPES..A COOL SENSATION..CALLED SEX..NO FABRICATION..I'M A DEEP THROAT INNER PERCEPTION..WITH LIPS OF COMPULSION..THEY THRIVE 2B TOUCHED.. THEY MUNCH LIKE A I AM THE LAST SUPPER..HELPLESS THOUGH..WITHOUT DA MEAL..LIKE.. THE BITE OF SLAUGHTER..THE DEPTH OF NEEDLES PLUNGING INSIDE MY ORDER..WHILE I STILL B..DA LIFE OF A TABLET WRITTEN..DA FRUITS OF EVIL..A STILL LIFE PORTRAIT.. THE INNER BODY MOTION...TO ARTICULATE MOODS..WITHOUT U AROUND...MY DELETABLE SERVE..PERCHING..HUMMING LIKE A BIRD..THAT SITS OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW..WAITING FOR ANOTHER DAY..LOVING SEXUALLY...EXPLICIT OVERCURES..WHERE MELODIES ARE..THE SOUND OF MOANS IN THEORY OF HARMONY..RHYTHMS WITH AN UN TIMELESS END..SLIPPING IN2 SLEEPLESS HOURS AND HOT ROMANTIC MAYHEIM..BUT HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR DRIFTING.. OUTTA PLACE & IN2 OTHERS 4 PLAY..NO HOLD BE BARRING ME FROM BEING CAPTIVE..HIS.. HER UNBINDING LOVE GETS CAUGHT UP..IN A CLOUD.. WHERE HE DISAPPEAR IN2 THIN AIR AND I LOSE ALL SENSE OF TIME WITH LONELINESS..WITH NO CARING..AS SEED FAITH..AS A LIFE NAME..PAIN..ALTHROUGH..SHE THINKS..DOES THE LOVE..WHAT SHATTERS..BREAKS IN2 MYSTICAL MASS..CHEMICALLY DISINTEGRATES FRAGMENTS..DESOLVES SELF.. WHAT WAS ONCE BODIES IN LOVE..WHERE..THE NATURE OF OUTDOORS..BECOMES DA RAPTURE..YOUR PLAYGROUND..A FANTASY...WHAT SHAKES ME OFF..IN BETWEEN ACTS..PRETENDS...WHERE YOU AND I SAVES EMPTINESS LOST..2B RESTORED..FEED THE SEED..DA BONES EVAPORATE..WHAT WAS SPOILED..FIND A FRESH PERSUASION 2MEET...YOU AND I'M GOING..GONE..FROM SIGHT.. WHERE BEGINNING..STARTS OVER..THE SAME O'L SHIT..WHAT WENT WRONG..WHERE HAVE I BEEN..RIGHT HERE...ALL ALONG...WAITING...UNDERSTAND...ADAM...UNTIL WE GET IT RIGHT..I'M NOT LEAVING...GENESIS..MY THEORY...DA BEGINNING >U MISSESD DA MESSAGE< 2009/NEW WOMAN'S ADDITION..BOOK II..CREATE.

FOR SOLOMON/THE VOICE OF LOVESONGS

YOUR BREATHLESS..AROMATHRAPY..THE INFIMITE DWELLER..WHO FINDS HIS QUEEN..SUNKEN.. IN THE MIDST OF MOURNERS..WHERE LOVE LOST IT'S COMFORT ZONE...BUT..WAITS FOR YOUR GENDER..COMPLETES THEIR FINAL MOMENTS BE4..LIFE ENDS CLOSURE..U FEED MY TOUCH..U READ EVERLASTING ENTITY..DA GUIDE OF A SOLDIER..AWAY FROM HOME..WHERE U TANTALIZE LOVE LETTERS..DA EMOLLENTS THE SCENT OF A MILLION DRAINED FROM HEAT EXPOSURE..LONESOME..THROWN IN2 ILLUSION..WHAT ESCAPES THE PAIN OF BATTLE.. A UNIVERSAL ATMOSPHERE..TOUCHED BY PAGES..WHERE THE LOVE NEVER DIES..I GIVE RIGHTS 2 PERFORM..LOVE...TOUCH YOUR SOUL..HEADSTRONG..YES..I CAN MOVE U..EXTREMITES..YOUNG ONE..THE TRUTH HAS JUST GAVE YOU..MY INTERPITATION OF.. A WAR WITHOUT END...FEELING THE FIRES THATS BE MY TRANQUILITY..AN URGE 2 FIRE..BLAST...LIFT OFF..I CAN MOVE U 2 EXTREMITIES..AND MELT AWAY THE WAR.. BITING MY LOST WORDS WRITTEN..SAVING MY LIFE WORTH GIVEN..I HONOR MY MAN OF SOLITUDE..LONELY..WITH BUCKSHOT IN HIS HEAD..BUT I DECLARE YOUR VICTORY..SURRENDER..ME..DOWN UNDER..WEAR ME TO SLEEP..WHERE THE BATTLE ENDS.. THE HORNS BLOW..I'M DONE..A LIFE WORTH LIVING..HAS NOW REST..CREATE/2008/DEC29

the glow of love

I am the signature that rest upon your hands..a face in the photo..i see every time i look...your smooth black smile with cinnamon stick skin..the taste to glorify a happy gift..where i can't stay away from..eyes..why do they speak without a tongue to lick your saliva from my CRAVEN..i feel like a sticky sensation aiming towards my deep throat...rotating around da circumference wearing u..loading it's trickling fate..being lured among aura..a combination that worked from the beginning of nature's elements..where the wetness slays within side our jaws..swishing around..eating the daily menu..where i become the decision..losing conscience..da touch..i die for..every time i look in2 your soul..where i get lost...don't wanna be found...unless the rescuer is you.God in heaven only knows the many nights i sleep in discomfort..the urge to slumber with the right GENEs..in silence..with no angle to shape the course of learning how...being in love..where i hear..I LOVE YOU..SHEILA...BUT..don't give a response what so ever...i guess that's my signal 2 leave tradewinds in the air..with motions to move my hot bothered lust that rules..u wrote..where i became outta control..it's you..i can't resist..damn..but you are one of the hottest males i have ever quivered behind sweet black chocolate flesh..sexy as hell..what have u done..dammit..WHAT????..enuff of my wet sheets and bathing in between night shivers from lost posession..sexual healing..I can't FORGET..what was just fantasy..your the fliest thug i have ever wanted down below..the gifts...da effects..OMG..what a year..pretending 2..do my thang..i awake naked..in a bed without you...dream..another..distasteful..it's u once more..vibration...such a bore..substitutes of decision..your body walks..i lose..the battle has won..me..without..you..da real thang..miserable..tired of toys..a fool and it's creation soon falls apart...getting fucked..OVER..CREATE

COLGATE WOMAN'S GAMES /TRYOUTS FOR MY GRAND DAUGHTER TATIE

WOW..THE MORNING WAS DISMAL..CLOUDY..RAINY..BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP THE PLANS FOR TODAY..MY GRANDAUGHTER TATIANA WAS SCHEDULE TO APPEAR AT PRATT INSTITUTE FOR THE COLGATE TRYOUTS..I WAS SO EXCITED..GOT MYSELF UP AT 5:30 AM..GOT READY..WAITED FOR HER TO GET HERSELF TOGETHER..WE HAD A 7:15 TRAIN TO CATCH AT THE LONG ISLAND RAILROAD..BEING THE A & C TRAINS WERE NOT WORKING DUE TO TRACK WORK ON THE RAILS..SO WE HAD TO GO THE OTHER ROUT..WHICH WAS EXCELLENT..WE GOT TO BROOKLYN IN 15 MINS..TIME OF ARRIVAL WAS 8:00..WE ARRIVED 15 MINS LATE,,BUT IT DIDN'T HARM ANY..WE MET HER COACH..ALL THE OTHER GIRLS SHE RUNS WITH AT HER SCHOOL..THERE WERE WOMAN RUNNING THAT WAS MY AGE..MADE ME LOOK BAD..THIS WOMAN WAS 55.RAN ALL AROUND THAT TRACK WITH EASE..I STOOD UP AND CLAPPED FOR THIS woman60s..40s..30s ALL THE WAY DOWN TO 4TH..5TH AND 6TH GRADERS..CAN U BEAT THAT..I LOVED IT..THE EVENT LASTED 4 HOURS..THE COMPETITION WAS TIGHT...DETERMINED AND CONFIDENT..MY TATIE CAME IN 3 PLACE ON THE 55 RELAY SPRINT/200 METER RUN..WHERE SHE COMPLETED BOTH COMPETITION..RECEIVED A PURPLE SLIP 2 RETURN FOR THE NEXT THREE COMPETITIONS..IT GONNA BE A BUZY 3 WEEKENDS..UNFORTUNATELY ..I HAVE TO MISS ONE..NEXT WEEK I HAVE TO WORK..THE FOLLOWING WEEKEND I CAN GO..MY SON RUSSELL ATTENDED WITH ME..HE DID ALL THE PICTURE TAKING..IT'S ON PICASA..IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GLANCE IN ON THE FESTIVITIES..YOUR WELCOME TO SEE OUR EXCITING DAY...ALL I CAN SAY IS..I AM A VERY BLESSED GRANDMA..TATIE IS MY FIRST..SHE BEEN WITH ME AND I CARRIED HER EVERYWHERE..HER BROTHER ELIJAH AS WELL..I WISH YOU YOU LUCK MAMA..THANKS FOR SHARING IN TODAY'S ACTIVITIES..MAY GOD BLESS..PEACE..SHEILA..CREATE