MOTHERLODE

i been doing things with my grand on fridays after they get outta school...we've gone to the movies to see iron man...da week b4 that coney island..yes folks ..it's still around..not closed yet.. sharing time is the most important thang in life ..i feel ..mothers and grand ..is availabile for their lives...when i was raising my children...i made it a point to take them out every weekend ...Only if...they brought home good grades...well...it's many years later...now i'm finding myself participated time with their children (my grand) my first born now is 13now....don't know where the time went...and well u know how i think..or do u..if not..let me continue...it's a girl...name ..Tatiana..we call her..tata..evidently has been keeping things away from her mom...so she comes home from school on one of my days off..(Friday)..we made plans to go to the movies..they wanted to see supamovie the comedy...it was hilarious....that night..tata..comes to me witth her report card...i looked ...said ..what is going on with your scores..her response was..she passed...but..they were just passing marks ..with comments i wasn't pleased with...said..but tata..your not doing your work..what 's going on in class..your skillz are lacking...this is not you..what's the deal girl.. i asked....she got silent...this is the most important time of your life..where you go from junior .2 high ...gotta take your work more seriously... days gone by..here it's monday..her mother and i have da same days off work...where i hear her arguing with tatie...why are your scores so low..when you go to after school program..you ask me to go to da library to study...well...it appears ms polly purebread's been lying all along...hanging in the schoolyard with these very aggressive ..hardcore females..she's being led..i'm ferious...my daughter wants to punish her ..take away computer time...no game playing ..no company...well i want more than that...i wanna get her a tutor...what eliminates the outside world from contact..one on one supervision..her mother doesn't agree...i'm staying out of it ..we don't see eye to eye anyway..she said i was a drill sergent...always was on her bac..yelling all the time at her when she did something wrong...so i stay outta of her way..she's a christian ...church going..very devout about God...but .i've been her only supporrt..from childhood...being they lost their father..getting shot in da head..left me alone to raise..the 2..mind you..he was my second relationship after i got an divorce from my husband...they went through alot..Nate especially... after his father's death at 11 yrs he was hell on wheels 4 me...wouldn't go to school...found smoking on da school premises..cut all the time...drugs..weed ..weed...weed..finally he get put away for being involved with an attack on an indian boy inda halls ...thought it was gonna be alright...wrong...he split every chance he got..would come bac to da house..it got real hectic..started cursing at me..talking bac...telling me to shut da f..up..yes and then some....now he's a uncle...looking at his niece..yelling at her about how important it its to study stay in school away from no good inviormentally unstable kids..like he was..they put him in a special ed class..where he rebelled on me ..his grandmother..sister ..my brotha tony..stole everying of value out da house....hated the world after his dad got killed..he even hated the fact he left this earth by getting killed..ain't that a bitch...used to draw tombstones on paper in jail..send me letter like this..with teardrops..falling down his face..on2 da tombstone..that spelled R.I.P. POPS..U LEFT ME...TO DA STREETS..WHERE MY FAMILY IS..NOT MOMMY'S HOUSE...MY HOMIES..THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND SHIT..BITTER AS HELL...BUT IT'S 12 YEARS LATER.. i look at his progess..no drugs..no drinking...just power drink vitamin waters and working out in da basement....stays with is girlfriend all da time ..here...who i might add...is a schoolteacher..she went to scool all the time..they grew up knowing one another for years...isn't that irotic..plus..get this...her mom's name is sheila and her married name is Jordan...plus..she works where i do..airport..doing the same thing cooking..but for da airplanes..i'm with the terminals...wild ..right..lol....she's helping him now ..with his school work..helps me ..with him...he's blessed now..but there's 2 girls in his life... more outside..i don't like them coming to da house...asking for him..some of them are from the street ..when he used to get in trouble all the time..i have to be stern..with my actions...speak harsh..when i really don't want to..i tell them ..to not come here looking for Nate any more..he has a girl that's disrespect to him..they just don' care....now ..it's tatie...shes carries an attitude from the street..had to yell at her yesterday..where she turns her back and walks away....don't walk away from you grandma..get bac here..i reply..then she will say..she's sorry..but still ..her mantality is about to tell on her progress as a student...and she's smart..thats what hurts..but lazy...what's a mother...becoming a grandma ..gonna do..kick her ass..naw..just help her..love them all..the hype takes over ...children will rebell like it's your fault...i know...i was one of them...da cycle repeats itself..that's what so scary about it...gotta stay on top of things..event after you become a mother.....psychology..is a bitch..gotta be your own master...teach..discipline..all your life... Peace 4 now..CREATE