Choking On Laughter by ~HeartbeatStatic on deviantART

Choking On Laughter by ~HeartbeatStatic on deviantART:

"I'm watching it all I'm watching it all fade Into the depth It's never coming back I'm catching it all I'm catching it all carefully In cold hands It's never coming back I'm crying it all I'm crying it all out Away from dreams It's never coming back I'm breathing it all I'm breathing it all in Into heavy lungs It's never coming back And I'm Watching Catching Crying Breathing And I'm choking On the laughter Breaking down the silence I stole the sledge hammers I tore down that wall I'm going to rebuild it I'm making a new home A place where I can be happy For once in my life I'm counting the stairs up Not adding my thirteenth I'm going to die here In a peaceful mind I'm choking on my laughter And I'm tearing down my walls."

"Subject: Dear Tide I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product. Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people"