Friday, February 19, 2010

WOWW HOW TIME FLIES..A MONTH ALREADY

THE WHITE ROSE...PURE IN HEART "
I LAID ON HER CASKET..was her favorite..all were RED & WHITE..
BUT ..I was handed WHITE..THE COLOR IWRITE WAS
WHAT SHE WAS BURIED IN..WHAT SHE WORE
WHEN SHE MARRIED MY DAD & WHAT SHE WORE
SAYING GOODBYE..
The days
are
going by so fast..
I can't believe it's a month
mom's been gone...
I still have memories that lingers around
inside my head..Ya know..
I was carrying this, it's my fault for
not being
able to help her more..but..
when my family said..it's not..
ur fault..I'm holding to much inside
Mom's time was GOD's decision..
she was very tired..weak..
praying all the time out of her month.
.smiling..saying..Why am I still hear..
telling the Lord..I am ready..
she would speak of
lights bouncing off all of us
as we would enter her room..bright..
flicking all around..One day I
remember ..when I brought some food
for dinner..
she was talking to God..
just like he was sitting right next to her ..
on the bed..smiling..having a converstion..
I just watched in amazement..
I said..mom.
.ur ready to eat..she just gave me a look..
like I had disturbed her privacy
and it felt so funny..I put the food on her table..
she had one like they used in the hospital
so I left..
she started calling me back..
at that point..I hid behind the door and broke
down in2 tears..when it hits home,
it's incredible how Life withers
in seconds at a time..
every day she was different..
her voice changed ..
her body changed..it became the final days..
wearing on me as well..
how going home 2 be with JESUS..
gave her one more day of energy..
holding on for our sake..
then the night arrived..
where she no longer could hold a cup of tea
in her hands..when I gave it to her..it just fell
all on her..I was devistated..
grab the cup..wiped her down and she
just acted like it was
nothing at all..then she asked me for a hug..
which I grabbed her with all my might..held her
close & smiled..
ur something else mom..
suddenly I noticed the change within 3 hours
after the aide left this was the day before..
we had to place her again..
another Blood clot on the right leg..
she had started a coin collection in the
family's honor,
which has valued thousands of dollars..
Commemorative collection ..
she would lock her door..u would hear her with the
coins...placing them in the placks.
.quarters..pennies..50c pieces
dollars..they came in many different
sizes for the children..adults and..relatives..
she had it all laid out..but..unfortunately..
it wasn't finished..
so many of our family members will
recieve the rest..me..my granddaughter..
Tatie..my daughter Shatika ..
will be taking care of finishing up her wish...
so everyone she loved
will own these coins..
we found several already done..
mines of which she gave me before her passing..
thats when she used to walk down
these basement stairs to my room..sigh!!!..
like it was just yesterday..6 months ago
just 6..OMG..a month..ALREADY..
and I'm still feeling her presence..I
emptied 7 bags
of personal notes
from Evangelist writing her..
she was sending them..donations..
Checks ..writing organizations..
Feed the children..
Cancer Research..UNITED NEGRO
College fund..
Jesse Jackson's PUSH..
Rainbow Coalition..
Save The Children..Sunami..
RED CROSS..KATRINA..
where we send clothing..money..
I went through every single bag of notes..
checks ..coins left..
she had a warehouse of items..
Bibles..dietary literature..
healthy life..everything u can name
that came in the mail..
she had.. I donated books to
OUR library..
Gave some away to
friends and neighbors who..
wanted to remember her..
jewelry..Pics of her vacations..
in Bemuda..Europe..
Vatican City in Rome Italy...Tampa Florida..
San Francisco California, Colorado Springs..
Ontario Canada..Oklahoma City..
Boston..Pittsburg Pennsylvania
our famiy's States..
NorthCarolina..
HER HOME..>
raised in Norfolk Va..where now
Mom & Dad are together..
in there final resting place...
.LYN BROOK..CEMETERY in LI. New york..
God Bless You..thanks for taking the
time to listen..loveya..
Peace. CREATE..Sheila T Jordan