Luther Vandross - I'd Rather/ PLUS /LYRICS OF LOVE OR DOUBT..U DECIDE

once I was a

woman of chance what grieved in times of romance to honor & obey the laws of matrimony to cherish..love and hope for eternity.. where ur strong manly ways kept us coming back & forth for 11 years and counting..with mocha smiles and ripple biceps.. mmm a body that had no scars..or battles in tattooed.. he never believed in it.. you are the study where criminology became ur major where penal codes & mister minors spelled first offender but lived on a predicate..back & forth the man with a twisted..lock remains..a cell block wearing a number over & over again like no home raise u..a christian baptized down in the water..what wanted a man of the cloth..the birth of JESUS..calls u child of GOD where eyes looked on..beaming..happy made me his girl..took care of my needs shared emotional upbringing hard times.. difficult 2believe he was the best chemical reaction..I had ever known as ..wifey whatever He had ..I got..whatever I needed there was no hesitation..he gave all of himself back & forth..in and out...got 2 be a pain in my heart a soul without..meaning..a love gone from sight.. saying Relationships are not what I am feeling..so if the truth be said matrimony was just a ceremony.. wearing no ending..where I still lay my head..crying.. for U..Christopher..aka my BOO...Create..Sheila T Jordan

SINCE DA DAYs BORN..

TAKE ME BACK..

in retrospect...where the mood saw a face ..she won't 4get

where the setting was bp kept..Where the pic..spoke cellblock.. ...saw no specs

just a black shadow..w hollowness..wears his silence..a shadow w/nonsense

i go bac from time 2 time..2 claim..that once clever brotha..what caressed my

mind..served me lovely..a bro's soul ..a soldier of penalties..from casualties & conflictions

blockade's from out access..parole violations...lived a dead president of ghetto threads

the soul's palpitations..heart throbbing..sweat wearing ..reacts this Sista ..formally

introducted as..poetry.. pages starring him....dimensions of black..coming through..but ..

verses of a smooth ..caviler..emotional lyric..what wore her days & night in bed..as her

indentity describes..2 him..the same wave length..in distance of a bridge..meeting his

apple..where eyes kept heights ranged from Empire States 2 ..the fresco STREETS..

THE PLACE..FILLMORE

the G thang keeping me delirious thoughts..what branded my heart..what burn inside

of want...years .stolen..rips my linen through tendah moments ..read...back & forth

gripping..life ..the pretense..holding on 2 subject matter...rated xxx...carries me..through stormy sees..a wrecked disturbed baggage...left..a man..worthy of everything..beaufiful..now

becomes ..his own publicity met..a soldier..of fortune..a news paper.. gathers no friend ..who..

I recognize..as the DREAM..made..from how..he covers his own skin..acting..like what never

believed..just a joke...the painted face of a batman's sinister crime link..2 finding who is the real

enemy..fact or fiction..he portrays as money..lights..camera..action..the main character..self

explanatory... what greets his morning coffee...his donuts or Oatmeal cookies...a social encounter

a dad ..up & coming...

All the L O V E & COMPASSION..from the first time ..I met you...I told u..it was love..I had 4 u

no..Bullshit..straight up front...personal..didn't matter ..what distance..or chatter..left u doubtful

insecured about..This was a heart feeling..pulsation ..erruptions..melting in stages..u performed..

acted out..left..me.. the common cause..2 remain..wearing ur frame..goreous..beautiful..crazzzy

the earth stopped...the skies opened up..the birds ..sang..words.. I shared as one..being w/ u..

for as long a forever..fave me..something 2 believe in...YOU..now..where u have me..wearing that lake of love...like ur mom..You were my dream come true...after feeling so ..blue...the disappearing acts of love..& poems..rest upon..what gave sweet moments Of u..WEARS WEAK

and sees ..what left you.. a G for comfort..wearing dead presidents..lovin it...shows me...this is what ..a child will witnessed be4 u...NON-SENSE

total NONSENSE....A DAD W/ a CHEMICAL IN-BALANCE...WHAT IS happening!!!!

DO U KNOW..URSELF..2 BECOME...A LEGACY 2 STAND ON...A CHIP OFF HIS SON'S BLOCK..THE SHOES THAT WEARS HIS STABILITY FROM CELL BLOCKAGE..

LEFT NUMB..BECOMING..CARELESS..SENSELESS..LIFELESS....unappealing 2 all

that calls U POP..I have no words..but this...God..MAN..I have been by ur side ..

without even a mere kiss and I am still in LOVE..PRIVATELY..2 MY OWN SELF AFFLICTION..WANTING U..CARING 4..GET IT 2GETHER..this weed has got ya

zoned..in another world ..substance..2 ABUSE..UR NOT READY TO BE a father..I 'm the RETROSPECT..

THE reality check ..peace..L R..this is for ..4 your own good. .CHIILL OUT..CLEAN UP UR ACT

OR PAY THE CONSEQUENCES... BRO!!!!!!!!!. he laughs..BUT...ain't funny no mo'..UR HURTING ME SOO..HOW DO U THINK UR MOM 2 BE..FEELS hommie!!!! CREATE..UR PARTNER...Sheila T Jordan

Here we have from L2 r.. Jamuna, KATRINA'S own Disaster himself.. FREDERICK MAYER and BAG lady...

Here we are..w/ some of the Cast & crew MS Mississipi..Russell & non other than.. Ms Bag Lady HERSELF..Joyce Griffen..

Meet Ms..Mississipi.. the Diva..Richarda Abrams

HELL & HIGH WATER OR LESSONS for WHEN THE SKY FALLS CLOSING CEREMONIES Lto r..Jamuna Yvette Sirker, Russ & myself..

Left to right..my good friend..TEE.. ME, my son..Russell..(Restaurant Dave) my daughter Shatika,my son-in law Ian~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ WELCOME... Well...this night was one for the books..or shall I say..critics...the reviews that came back on Jamuna Yvette Sirker's HELL & HIGH WATER or LESSONS FOR WHEN THE SKY FALLS gave u a chill down ur spine..with an true life story..living inside New OrLean's KATRINA'S Whimsical display of colors..shaking the town's people crumbling it's bourbon streets & and tourist attractions..HOMES Demolishes millions of people dead, when levees were filled..capturing a spectacle..with great proportions losing all tracks of life..what kept a world that witnessed this horrible nightmare..grieving without no where to run..hide..it gave me a scare.. where ..I actually felt the effects...the stage came alive..with anger..brutal substance & heartbreaking stamina, in the beginning..life captivates love for a neigborhood.. the businesses..the creativity of people making moves..living their lives w/blues..booze and a happy..musical atmosphere..a Restaurant owner..his manager.. a teacher..WHO IS the NARRATION, responsible (Jamuna Yvette sirker's her own interpitation of KATRINA's gripping tragedy..I ..myself was so mesmerized..trauma went all over me..especially when..my son..Russell was showing emotion on behalf of his grandparents..who were missing..when they found them one body was floating.. where the levees were so high..the only thing u can see ..were roofs top of homes..where his grandfather was ..I have to hand it to him..being.. we just went through losing my mother...his grandma.. when I ask him.. did it bother u to do these lines.. he replied...I FELT GRANDMA'S SPIRIT.. she gave me this opportunity that's why I DID IT..I felt she wanted me 2 do it.. I just gave him a hug & kiss..it was so inspiring..I got full.. and it paid off..but last & not left out.. we must give our total thanks and high praise to the man of the hour...KATRINA'S STORM.. THE ONE AND ONLY..Mr Frederick Mayers... WOW..WHAT A performer.. I WOULDN'T WANNA CROSS PATHS WITH HIM... DEATH DEFYING, to say the least..all and all.. HELL & HIGH WATER OR LESSONS FOR WHEN THE SKY FALLS.. received wonderful reviews I was so happy to come home from Virginia and get to see his Last shows such a delightful Cast & crew..I thank u for LISTENING.. Peace..GOD BLESS Create..Sheila T Jordan

CRY TEAR READS THEE E MOTIVES

STOP!!.. now..let me think.. u say I'M thee 1.. fed w/ a spoon full of sweets

where jolly .. happy pretends 2 live outside a dream... 2 wear a Valium

of Darvon's or Quinines.. the eazy way out..a stone counter .. filled with

a latitude to fly like an eagle.. trippin trippin..trippin..2 the seas.. where my spirit carries me... no further than life can bury me.. it's experiment

so u say..I will be.. another one 2 conjure up..life's principles. striving 2 pretend..I am ur cry tears.. reads thee e motives 4.. excepting any cure

to laughter..ignored... pounding my insecurities.. finding myself wearing

motives 2 what matters through.. a criteria e motion..loves final hour..

serving you as...the remedy 2 death.. a liquid I call ..DRAUGHT...the

other drug..sufficating..when LIFE care less 4... THE AMOUNTS..when

knowingly..you don't know how 2 give back.. in love...so u die..kill the dream

4 all included..a selfish way 2 read what cry tears reads the motive 4..living...

THOUGHT I MENTION..CREATE. Sheila T Jordan

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES..JAMILA & ROBERT

HERE I AM W/ JAMILA.& ROBERT..HIS GRANDMA AND SON JAYLON

MR & MRS..WITH ERIC

My BROTHER IN LAW (PUMPKIN)..WILLIAM

ME W/ NEPHEW IN-LAW ERIC

THE BRIDE JAMILA & PUMPKIN

SAYING THEIR VOWS

THE BRIDAL PARTY

CLEOPATRA..BLACK QUEEN

Well..the wedding is over..my stay in Virginia was a wonderful five days of relaxation and getting to meet such wonderful people..after the wedding..shirley and I went back to her house while the bride and groom left on their weekend romantic hideaway...while we baby sitted her grandchildren..there was so much to clean up..considering the bridemaids stayed at Susie's..while the men..stayed at her daughter's house..where her husband was part of the wedding party..a bacholar party went on there..while we had our cocktails..I had to prepare the gifts for the guest..while everybody else..went to a club..to see some M E N ,..STRIPSHOW...YEAH..I missed it didn't have no desire to go ..being I had the whole house to myself ..watched cable on her big screen tv..after I finished the guest bubbles and wraps..cleaned up...took my bath..because I knew that when they come home..I would never get a chance to take my bath..had to be up at 10'clock to go to the elk hall and decorate..apparently..they needed extra help..so me..my nephew in law..Eric..brotha in -law Pumpkin & myself was nominated to go that morning before the wedding..we finished in 2 hrs..where we were picked up and taken to the church...it was so exciting..seeing them ..we haven't seen one another in 7 years..since Susie moved outta NY..and it just so happens when they moved..it was right in my people's hometown..Norfolk..Virginia beach and thats 10 mins from Porthsmith..where she lives now...a beautiful area..i didn't wanna leave...her home is so nice and I was just thinking to myself..when my girlfriend..susie momhad died and how she had to move in with me in my 2bedroom apt..with my chidren and her2 girls..a very tight squeeze..and now shes in her own home..with her 15 yr old..and her girls..both have their own homes ...a blessing to say the least..married...beautiful...ERIC..PUMPKIN AND MYSELF had a reunion..being the ls time we saw one another..Eric was about 12..he lived in FAR ROCK..WHERE..Susie left in NY...NOW..HE'S A GROWN man..24..getting ready for his wedding day in July..amazing..how time flies..I was married to their Uncle..Chris..and he looks so much like him now.tall ..handsome..a wonderful young man he is..we all had a ball..Pumpkin..well..he locked for 10 years for sticking up a Mc Donald's..falsely accused..did time for nothing..wasn't even involved..SENSELESS..crime & punishment...A good man..took a mugshot and compared him with another..they finally got that dude...and now he is a free man on probation though..in a halfway house in FAR ROCK..going to TCI..sounds familar don't it..hummmm..LR..SAME SHIT..DIFFERENT LOCATION... MY brotha-in law..he was 21 when he went in..hes now 32.. love him to death..and a for Eric..he made sure I had a slamming time we danced..talked about his Uncle ..why we aren't together..how He spoke to Chris last week in Florida...did I want2 know his whereabouts..I said politely ..no..did I want his cell..again ..I responded ..no..I am lonely..in need of love..but not at the price of being broken hearted..I got to see..Kolengi..her dad..he is living with Jamila now in Va..has a back room..built in their garage..turned it into a apt..real cool..i loved it..all and all memories..lingers on .. my family..years..being friends..helping out...being with Susies cousin...and The marriage that gave up prison life with/prison wifey..me...thats for listening,,have a good 1.. CREATE

Virginia here I come...Portsmith YES..i go 2 another WEDDING..MY FRIENDS DAUGHTER..Jamila

WELL..my bags are packed..

my ticket is ready..here I go..finally ..a trip to my girl

from NY..moved to Virginia 6 years ago..Iam now getting the opportunity to visit

the family..take a part in another Wedding..her youngest daughter..JAMILA..It's

been awhile seen we have got together...I am so excited..I remember when this girl

was just a teen when they left..Shirley got married..left NY..she's my cousin through

marriage..her cousin is Chris..my ex..we've been friends since her mother ..my friend

Willamena..who died..were neighbors of mine...right next door..close for years..love themwe use to party together..meet guys together..when the man who was currently w/her mom..where she went on a vacation to Mississipi..to visit relatives..she was found in the bathroom..hunched over..had an brain anurythm..word got back in NY..susie was young mother herself..w/ a daughter..the man who was taking care of them..find out...set a fire to the home for insurance purposes..made sure..there was nothing left for them..the fire suddenly spread through my window next door..smoke was everywhere..susie came home to no place to live..thats when.I came to the aid of her and shakerri..then 6yrs..i moved them in w/me...being my landlord was her godmother..in a small 2 bedroom apt..

I had..where she worked as a nurses aide ..like her mother..went to Queensbridge community college..met KOLENGI NAPIER..where she left my home..then down the years they had Jamila...broke up w/napier..and moved again to the project in far

FAR ROCKAWAY..REDFERN houses...lived there for 5 years..where she left NY..GOT married 2 A BROTHA SHE MET IN JAIL..and the rest is history..Last year..we made contact...where she found out about my mother ..told me ..she almost died from blood clots in her throat..and that when ...I shared w/her about my near death experience with a stroke..

we swore never lose contact again..SHE PAID FOR MY ticket..thats love

& friendship..touching moment..how u found drama as it's deed

2 help out someone..God comes along and save the day..

just thought I mention..

thanks 4 listening..it's time to go...seeya next week...

be back friday..the16TH...IN THE MEANTIME

PEACE ..HAVE A GOOD 1..Create..Sheila..muah!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT..WALKING ZOMBIES..HUMANS..AN EASTER TESTIMONY..LIVING PROOF

TO ALL THAT KNOWS NOT..

HAS NOT & SEES NOT BRAIN

KNOWLEDGE AS UR SOURCE..

THIS IS FOR U

This is a story..

I must share with my viewers..

it take place in a town

where everyone has rights to love and

be loved /with circumstances under their belt..

where all that makes up different elements..

people who were survivors of the Drug era..

60s..70s.80s...

where I grew up...we faced

the Black boycotts of Watts..

the colors of the rainbow flower children..a

violent state of mine..

where war paint sends a message of Wars

in Vietnam..Black panther parties..

the fist of liberty and screaming

we shall over come paved the way to victory..

as I look back on street life..

the song which speaks

heroin addiction..the year of Aquarius..

fires..churches being burned down in

the Mississippi's south..killing three black lil girls..

2 black brothas and a Jewish

friend..Images of hatred & neglect...

it is now..2010..

why are we still visualizing that same effect...

I am so ANGRY..floored about life and how

some still don't get the true meaning..

what God had done for all that survives..

I am very upset in my journey..

while witnessing the fruits of labor...

working..able to buy a car..house..use a hole

in the wall 2 eniciate product..taking out all thoughts

& transfers 2 another time

wasting ours generic rules of being LIFE..

LIVING RIGHT

a substance to function right..having fun in

the process while THE TRUTH..remains evident..

we are not our OWN destiny 2 RECOGNIZE..we own no soul

calling the days 2 expiration early..but in

Gods hands when it becomes..his will..

the devil's way to enjoy products over the counter..

under doormats on street corners or even in

pharmaceutical plants manufacturing..

We have lost so many human beings..

died w/no sense or purpose

to remain a dad..mom..children left behind..a clone..

with an identity to find..the world has shown..

it is a difficult atmosphere to evolve..

to grab a hold of spirit and wear

it as God..he died for us..we take it for granted..

we smoke filled dreams..dance to the street merchants..

who supplies our heads w/ a cause to celebrate..

none2 die..2 drink..over indulge.

pass a violent mixture of suicide..

forcably allowing Life 2 become our ticket

2HELL..

what Jesus died for on the cross4 US..

I am so apolled..tears roll down my cheek.

actually taking part in this world as we see it..

I have many who..as well as myself..

as well..lacing the totes..

breaking the rules of LIFE..bending my ass over

to the evils of street ..

walking that long corridor to the chambers of goodbye..

saying..this is my temple of ..

I know not the what is the kingdom..when all the time..

ur brain's out to lunch..playing urself..drinking..doping..

mainlining..cocaine in..freebasing..weed with

cigar paper & industrial strength chemicals..

I am mad..when I see a transformation..

turn..angel of death...my face changes..

my thoughts are nothing..not what I was at birth

where..again..the track of living..

crews with a chains holding me bac..a black human

figure..created in his image..

not a gift for killing the human race..I am so angry this day

why..because right now as I write this testimony..

my closest seeds are lifting ..getting

high..not even thinking

I know whats happening in there lives...

the only thing is left

to realize..all that is on a level of positivity

& soul searching....WILL SEE HIS KINGDOM

where urs is up in arms ..with no care in the WORLD..

4 Eternity..where he waits..for u..

ur death..time is short..why???..think..

whatcha gonna do!!!..H A P P Y E A S T E R..

H U M A N S..

God Bless YOU..

JESUS..

I ANSWER TO U..NOT MAN..PRAY FOR US..AMEN...

Create..Sheila T Jordan