BIRTHDAY ...DA MEMORY OF..ANTHONY BERRY

I JUST WANNA GIVE THANKS TO THE HIGHER POWERS THAT BE..HE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE EMBRACE FROM FLESH THAT HELPED BIRTH OUR CHILDREN..TAMARA AND NATHANIEL..THESE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN THROUGH HELL..I REALIZE NOW..HOW MUCH THEY NEEDED THEIR FATHER'S SUPPORT..IN THE END..GUNFIRE TOOK HIS LIFE ..WHERE HE WAS MISSING FOR A WEEK..THE MOTHER CALLED ASKING WHEN HAD I HEARD FROM ANTHONY LAST..I REPLIED..MOM BERRY.. I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM SINCE THE LAST TIME HE CAN OVER AND BROUGHT THE KIDS TO SEE YOU..WHEN WAS THAT..I THINK 2 WEEKS AGO...WELL..SHE REPLIED ..NOBODY'S HEARD FROM HIM AND I'M SCARED SHEILA..HIS JOB CALLED HEAR LOOKING FOR HIM..ARE THE KIDS OK..U SEE HIS MOM HAD A STROKE..SO HIS SISTERS WAS TAKING CARE OF HER..SHE HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN...THEY THOUGHT ABOUT (MAN)NATHAN AND TAMMY...WHICH..AT THE TIME WAS 12 AND 10 YEARS OLD...A WEEK WENT BY..WHEN WE GOT THE PHONE CALL..WHERE I ANSWERED THE PHONE...SHEILA..IS THAT YOU..I ANSWERED ..WHO IS IT..MOM BERRY..IS THAT YOU..YES..SHE WAS SCARED ME..SOUNDED SO SAD..I REPLIED..ARE U OK..AND THAT'S WHEN SHE GAVE US THE BAD NEWS...SHE REPLED..ANTHONY'S GONE..WHAT DO U MEAN?? I ASKED.HE'S GONE..DID HE GET LOCKED UP...SHE ANSWERED NO..SHEILA THEY FOUND ANTHONY IN WATER...LAYIN FACE DOWN..HE'S DEAD...I DROPPED THE PHONE..SCREAMED ALL THROW THE HOUSE ..WHERE ALL THE KIDS CAME RUNNING..HAD TO GET THEM PREPARED..WHEN I DID..MY DAUGHTER TAMMY FAINTED AT THE STAIRCASE AND WENT DOWN HEAD FIRST TO THE BASEMENT..WE HAD TO RUN AND GET HER ..THEN NATHAN...WELL..HE WENT TO THE FUNERAL..TOOK A LOOK AT HIS DAD AND HE WAS QUIET FOR WEEKS...HAD TO TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL ..WHERE THE DOCTOR'S SAID..AND I QUOTE;U GOTTA WATCH HIM..HE'S HOLDIN EVERYTHING INSIDE..THATS BAD..AFTER THAT..HE WAS SELLING DRUGS..AT14..STOLE AT THE HOUSE..WENT IN DRUG PROGRAMS..WHERE HE WAS SPILTING..SNEAKIN IN THE HOUSE THROUGH THE WINDOW..WHERE MY BROTHER SAID..IF U KEEP LIVING THAT PROGRAM ..I'M GONNA TELL THEM TO PUT U IN JAIL..WELL .DIDN'T HAVE2 ...HE ROBBED OUR NEIGHBORS..AS A RESULT.. 2YEARS UPSTATE..THIS REALLY GAVE ME WAKE UP CALL..TOOK PART IN MEETINGS..MADE SURE I WAS THERE UPSTATE..WHERE HE GOT TO LEARNS ELECTRONICS...HOME IMPROVEMENT..NOW HE'S LICENSED NOW AFTER 7 YEARS OF GIVEN ME HELL..ALL OVER BEING MAD AT HIS FATHER FOR A DEBT HE OWED..CRACK..PAYMENT..THIS DAY ..I WANNA SAY..TO GOD AND HIM...YOUR CHILDREN HAVE EXILED..YOUR SON WENT BAC TO SCHOOL AT NIGHT..YOUR DAUGHTER THAT'S YOUR TWIN..SHE'S PASSED EXILED..SHE FOUND CHRIST..GOT A GOOD MAN..IN THE CHURCH..WHERE THEY BOTH WERE BAPTIZED..YOUR GRANDKIDS..HER GIRLFRIENDS..MY NEIGHBORS DAUGHTERS..WHO YOU SON ROBBED...THE LORD IS MERCIFUL..EVERYTHING WORKED OUT OK...YOUR CHILDREN ARE DOING JUST FINE...HAPPY BIRTHDAY...IDIDN'T FORGET U...GOD BLESS U..I KNOW YOU BEEN JUDGED..IN HEAVEN..FOR YOUR ACTS ON EARTH..SO BE IT..IN LIFE U WAS A MAN OF GOD..U BETRAYED..HE FORGIVES...THAT'S HOW WONDERFUL HE IS..I AM OK..HE HAS HIS HANDS ON US..DEAD AND ALIVE..EITHER WAY..U PAY..BUT YOUR STILL LOVED..I'M HUMBLE ANTHONY..PEACE ON EARTH..FROM..SHEILA

HE GOT OUTTA DODGE..WHERE DA JUDGE DID NOTHING..I GOT NO MONEY BACK

I WAS ONCE DA MOTION..WHAT'S FUNDAMENTALLY SOUND..I MADE A MOVE TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY LIFE...I CRAWLED ..LIKE A NEW BORN CHILD...I STOLE MY OWN IDENTITY...DUE 2 STREET LIFE AND HANGIN OUT..FROM 24 HOURS ..7 DAYS A WEEK OF PARTYING..LAUGHIN..KEEPIN MY HEAD NUMB..FROM ONE DRINK TO THE NEXT...I WAS A WELFARE REGET..WITH NO CASUAL ATTIRE..OR SELF RESPECT...WHEN FOOD GUARANTEED ME A LARGE AMOUNT FOR THE FAMILY..I WAS BREAKING IT DOWN..USING HALF FOR OTHER THINGS...LIKE CLOTHING..BOOZE..WEED..2 LIFT MY VOID AT NIGHT..THE COMPANY..WAS LOUD AND CARELESSLY ANNOYING..BUT..I WANTED 2B CARED4 IN THE WORSE WAY..SO I KEPTED THIS LIFESTYLE UNTIL A LIGHTBULB WEHT OFF IN MY HEAD...MY APT..WAS HAVEN FOR AFTERNOON SESSIONS...BLOW...DRUGGIN ALL DAY LONG...USING UP WHAT WAS GIVEN TO LIVE OFF ON... AS THE DAYS GOT LONGER..THE NIGHTS GOT OLDER..I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR..SAW A WOMAN..WITH NO LOVE INTEREST..I STARTED MEETING FRIENDS...GOING TO SCHOOL FOR CHILD CARE ADOLESCENTS..THROUGH WORKING FOR MY CHECK..WELFARE THAT IS...I MET SO MANY IN AUTHORITY..THAT GAVE ME POTIENTIAL ENOUGH TO PUSH MYSELF...BECOME THE VERDICT..BUSINESS WOMAN...WAS INVITED TO BUSINESS MEETINGS..DATED PROMINENT LEADERS ..FOR THE CITY OF NY..SUPPORTED WORKING 4 MAJOR DEMOCRATIC PARTY..UNTIL ONE DAY..THE TRUTH STARTED TELLING ME..THIS IS NOT YOU..YOU NEED TO SEARCH YOUR SOUL..GO BAC TO COOKING..GET OFF WELFARE FOR GOOD..SO I BRANCHED OUT..LOOKING FOR WORK..I WAS 33..A WELL ROUNDED LADY..WITH 4 CHILDREN..WELL KEPTED..BEHAVED..GOT COMPLIMENTS ALL THE TIME ABOUT BEING A DIVORCED WOMAN WITH NO MAN IN MY LIFE..MY DAUGHTER AND SON..STARTED GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL..WHILE MY YOUNGER ONES STAYED WITH MY MOM AND DAD AROUND THE CORNER FROM ME..NOW I'M WORKING...IN THE AIRPORT..KENNEDY ..15 MINS FROM ME..THE BUS COMES DOWN MY BLOCK..EAZY ACCESS..I WAS IN HEAVEN..A INDEPENDENT WOMAN OF THE NINETIES...I RAISED SOME VERY SMART CHILDREN..MY SON BECAME THE MAN IN CHARGE ..I GAVE HIM THE KEYS TO THE APT..WHERE HE MADE SURE ..TIME FOR HOMEWORK AFTER SCHOOL..HELPED MY DAUGHTER..THEY HAD FOOD TO EAT..MADE SURE THEY TOOK THEIR BATHS..AND HAD EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE BEFORE DARK..I WAS A VERY PROUD WOMAN..WITH NO LOVE FOR ANYBODY BUT MY FAMILY..UNTIL LIFE OPENED A BOOK..SPILLED A CAN OF WORMS...A NIGHT.I'D GET HOME..WANTED COMPANY..STARTED MY FUN ALL UP AGAIN..THIS TIME ..IT WAS MY OWN MONEY..STARTED BEING GENERIOUS..HELPING OUT PEOPLE...GOT 2 COMFORTABLE..LAZY..LEFT MY MONEY LAYIN AROUND ANYWHERE..CARELESSLY ONE MO' TIME..HAD A GUY VISIT..NEW TO MY HOME..I WENT TO THE BATHROOM..WHEN I CAME OUT..THIS MAN STOLE ALL OF $360.00 OF MY DOLLARS..FROM MY WALLET..KNOWIN ..I HAD A FAMILY DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK...SO THAT SET ME BACK WITH BILLS HANGING UNDER MY BELT...HAD TO GO AND TELL MY MOM WHAT HAPPEN..WE CALLED THE COPS..BUT THE COPS DID NOTHING..SO I HAD TO TAKE IT UPON MYSELF WITHA FEW OF MY MALES FRIENDS IN DA HOOD..STARTED LOOKING FOR THIS CREEP..WHEN THEY FOUND OUT WHO HE WAS AND WHERE HE CAME FROM..I WAS SHOCKED..HE WAS A MAN FROM PAKISTAN..DARK WITH A BALD HEAD..LOOKED LIKE A BLACKMAN..HAD NO ACCENT..BUGGED ME OUT..HE WAS ALIENSHIP..HERE ILLEGAL..WORKED AT THE CAB SERVICE I USED TO GO AND GET CABS..THE PEOPLE THAT HE KNEW FROM THE CAB SERVICE..SAID..HE WAS VERY STRANGE..ACTED LIKE HE HAD TO GO..TOLD THEM HIS FAMILY MEMBER DIED ..HE WAS LEAVING THAT NIGHT...SO ALL MY BUDDIES FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD ..WENT TO FIND WHERE HE LIVE..THEY FOUND HIM AT THE AIRPORT WHERE I WORKED..BOUGHT A TICKET TO PAKISTAN..USED MY MONEY 2 LIVE THE COUNTRY..I WAS SHOCKED...HE HAD NO REMORSE IN WHAT HE DID..THE COPS DID COME AFTER TO MY PLACE..ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW LONG DID I KNOW THIS MAN..THE INTERRIGATION PROCESS WAS AIMED MORE AT ME THEN HIM..WHICH I RESENTED IT..GOT MAD..TOLD THEM I WANTED A REPORT WRITTEN ON THE MATTER OF WHAT'S BEEN ASKED..WHICH THEY GAVE ME...THIS SYSTEMS SUCKS BULLETS..NEED TO BE RAMED UP THEIR ASS..I WAS NERVOUS.. HAD A FRIEND COME OVER TO VISIT ME ..STAYED A COUPLE OF DAYS AND WENT BAC TO HER PLACE..THERE WAS SO MUCH I EXPERIENCE AS A SINGLE WOMAN..ON WELFARE..WORKING TO IMPROVE THE BETTERMENT OF MY CALIBUR..AND GAIN SELF ESTEEM..AWAY FROM BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF...NOW I KNOW SO MUCH..AS SHEILA..I GIVE ALL AND EVERY THING TO GOD...I LIVED ROUGH..I TRAVEL IN CIRCLES ..WHERE LIFE 'S JOURNEY ALLOWED ITSELF 2 CHALLENGED MY AUTHORITY...AND WHAT I DID WAS..I LET MAN NO CONTROL MY OWN SELF BEING...WORD 2 DA WISE...BE NO FOOL IN BLINDERS...BUT..ALL THAT TRIES TO PUT YOUR EYES OUT..WILL SOON HAVE 2 COME OUT IN DA OPEN...CLEAR YOUR CONSCIENCE...WALK WITH YOUR HEAD UP HIGH...CARRY A BUT STICK..BEAT THE FUCK OUTTA CON ARTIST..TRYING YOU..2 MANIPULATE. THE MORAL 2 THIS GUY..HE'S GONE BAC TO HIS COUNTRY..NO JUSTICE..NO PEACE OF MIND..THAT'S WHAT THE JUDGE DID..BUT IT DIDN'T GET MY MONEY BACK..MY PARENTS HAD TO GIVE IT 2 ME..FELT LIKE SHIT...TO GET THROUGH MY NEXT PAYDAY..AIN'T THAT A BITCH!!!!...CREATE..AKA...SHEILA T JORDAN...PEACE