SUBJECT MATTERS

Well it's Monday..

and I'm sharing a lotta read,

I'm starting to see life ain't eazy dealing with

GOODBYES,

now don't get me wrong..it's not what u think..

what I'm sayin has no baring

on what isn't working out for me..

persay..

i'm going through the trial periods of losing a love one..

right before my eyes

prepare to face the unevitable..

what shaped life on going,what reared..

raised me with discipline,

a good lifestyle..

what gave me the chance to become a

child, with everything that I was able2 have..

a great home..

a well kept structure..the manners

to respect my elders..the calm of knowing..

there will be a life everlasting in the spirit

through each passing day..

I prayed for something I could look back on..

with laughter

in the rain as well as sunshine..

where birds are singing..the air is fresh& clean..

the road

stands clear and wide enough to take me on a journey,

return in good hands with God..who

I am so faithful and endearing..

what showed me,the way to prosperity..

love and joy in the

morning..Yes, I'm speaking about

the one person I grew up with,,changed my clothes,

gave me hope for the

future.scrubbed my back..

fed me well..make sure I had enough money

to carry me through school ..

the one who sat me down...encouraged me to fulfill the dream

what raised us on history of Martin..Malcolm,

Abraham& John..kept a strapbook on our black

leaders..came to all of my plays..

had my brother & I attend church on sunday..

READ..the bible so

I WOULD know God..sing praises..

in his name..

make sure my appearance was in tack..

hair worn neat as a pin..with barrettes and ribbons..

tryouts for commercials

when a talent scout approched me on the street

.while I was playing with

the neighborhood kids..

in the Bronx

through the years ..

I learned there comes a time in life..

the souls been used for a long time, repeat..

with ur children..all grown..with.. theres..Mother's job is

through..u begin to see the change,

where shes not so strong..

but weak in the limbs..her stability decreases..

her moblity leaves her walking with a cane..

her figure starts to strink..

where ur now 2 feet taller than she is..

now it's looking close to time..

where I must realize time is short..I love you MOM..

ur the archor..

what kept me afloat..my right hand..

when..I needed u the most..my left foot..

when my muscles ache..

when my head was hurting from a cold or virus

..when I discovered measles and chicken poxs.

.where I missed my spelling Bee,

where the teacher chose me and another

student to represent the class..damn that hurt a lot..my class

lost the competition..got back from being sick,where I

was greeted with respect and love..when she gave me birthday parties..

had a million and one friends from all over..that was fun..

i love u mom..the bitter w/the sweet..

the bad times..

I played hookie with my friends..

they put me on suspension for 2 days out of school..

where my dad had t come and pick me up..

I hated that ..he wasn't hearin it..got whipped..

sent to my room with no dinner,

mom would come in when DAD was sleep

and serve me some bread/w a jelly and peanut butter with milk..

a kiss on my head..

a smile on her face..said..why did u do this Sheila..

I say..

i was not getting along with some girls in the school..

started to fight with me..because..

of how I looked,

this was an on going thang growin up in the Bronx,

then moved to Queens..

with all and everything real..I made it through..

no thanks to my

brothas & sisters' who was far from my age level..

my brother Tony and i were her Last children on the totem

pole of 10..and now as the days move so fast, life has taken a toil on her health..

she moves slow,

i bathe her..cloth her,kiss her all day and night just like she use to do for me..Yes, the tables have

turned,it is now 2009..she lives at 98..but suddenly drifts from conversation..

stares due to her sight..

had a glaucoma operation in one eye..

suppose to due the other...cancer of the breast..

she refused to b cut..said..

when that happens,I'm done 4 ..it's over for good..

so..this is it..

I had to share this bit of my life with you..

for anyone who knows ..

God is a good God..but don't follow..

better change there ways and stop living just for you..

but for others WHO..

take time out..devote ur there efforts

to a love one..

a parent..an elderly victim of the Holocaust..

anyone who gave themselves at one time in your life..

don't b selfish or cruel,

just think how ur life would b,

if there wasn't a mother that taught u the ropes of

being held and comforted as..

love...

all the days of ur life..

i'm scare, nervous, not prepared for this..

keep ur heart close..

but wear your bodies closer ..

outta the box..before it's time 2 say goodbye forever

until God comes..

understand the reason you were born..

God Bless.Peace..

Create.. in dedication to my MOTHER

~~~~

Mrs.Artelia (Bullock) Jordan

I LOVE YOU..