MY SON'S PROGRESS...AWARENESS..WITH AIDS FUNDRAISING

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THIS IS LOVE STORY..WHERE MY SON'S MAGNIFICENT TALENTS AND SKILLZ KEEPS HIM MOTIVATIVELY SOUND..WHERE ..AT THIS TIME..HE IS STRIVING TO ACHIEVE A GOAL..HE INTENDS TO RAISE $1000.00 FOR THE AIDS RESEARCH WHERE..NOW..HE WAS ABLE TO RAISE A GRAND TOTAL OF..AT THIS POINT.. $500.00.. SO MANY PEOPLE..EVERYDAY ARE DYING..STILL..WITHOUT A CURE.. WILL STILL BE HOLDING ON FOR A WORTHY CAUSE..IN THE PAST MONTHS..RESEARCH HAS FOUND THE STATISTICS INDICATES THERES AN OVER POPULATION OF AFRICAN AMERICANS THAT ARE DETECTED..AND WOMAN WAS FOUND TO BE THE HIGHEST RATE OF INFECTED FROM THE YEARS 2004-2008..AN INCREASE WILL BE ADDED FOR 2009.. WON'T BE IDENTIFIED..THIS IS A DISTURBING PREDICTTIONS..PLEASEEE..FOR YOUR OWNPROTECTION..KEEP THIS IN MIND..WHERE LOVE DON'T LIVE INSIDE..DETECTS.. INFECTS..LOSES LIVES..SAVE A LIFE..YOUR OWN..GET YOURSELVES CHECKED OUT.. USE PROTECTION AT ALL TIMES..WHEN LOVE TELLS U ..IT WON'T HURT..WHO IS.. WHAT DENIES..A HEART OR ANY OTHER ORGAN..FOR THAT MATTER..WON'T MAKE CONTACT..THROUGH A BLOOD TRANSFUSION AN INFECTION..THROUGH A HEART..THAT PREDICTS HISDEFECTS..KNOWS IT'S HISLIFE..BUT..REFUSE TO DIE PHILOSOPHICALLY.. STAY IN DENIAL..FROM THE TRUTH..THERES SO MANY PEOPLE THAT TAKES LIFE AS IT'SBEST FRIEND..SUPPORT THE CURE..FIGHTS UNTIL..SCIENCE CONTINUES TESTING.. WHERE ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE..GOD BLESSYOU SON...REMAIN THE STRENGTH.. INTEGRITY AND REMEDY..TO SEEK THE GIFT OF AIDS RECOVERY..THROUGHOUT OUR EXISTENCE..FOR ALL GMHC..GRIOT SOCIETY ANDTHE LIFE OF ALL THE HUMAN RACE... GOD BLESS US ALL..IN A WORLD WHERE IT'S NOT JUST THEGAY POPULATION..IN AMERICAN..BUT ALL AROUND THE CONTINENT OF AFRICA..WHERE MILLIONS WERE DETECTED.. IN A PLACE WITH NO MEDICAL SUPPLIES..BRUTAL DEVISTATION..SLAVERY..RAPE..PLEASE IF YOU HAVE A HEART..GO HELP AIDS RESEARCHFIND A CURE..BECOME THE MAJORITY.. NOT A LACK OF KNOWING..I TOOK CLASSES WHENI WORKED FORHOME ATTENDING..NURSES AIDE..A VISITING NURSE SERVICE.PROGRAM..WHERE I WAS SEND OUT ..TO HOMES..TAKING CARE OF THESE DEFENSELESS VICTIM..WITH NO HOPE..MET WONDERFUL..EVERYDAY PEOPLE.. WITH A BEAUTIFUL HOME..FAMILIES WITH CHILDREN..I LOSTA VICTIM MYSELF..R.I.P ..ROBERT..IF HE HAD OF BEEN ALIVETO THIS DAY..HE WOULD HAVE BEEN 46..MY SISTER'S SON..HER ONLY CHILD..DIED IN 1988..WHERE I REMEMBER WHEN I LIVED AROUND THE CORNER..WITH MY KIDS..HE CAMEOVER SAT DOWN ONMY SOFA AND CRIED..SAID..SHEILA..I DON'T WANNA DIE..WE CRIED TOGETHER..A COUPLEOF MONTHS LATER..ON JULY 28..A DAY BEFORE MY SON'S RUSSELL'S BIRTH..ROBERT CHATMAN..DIED IN ST CLARE'S HOSPITAL..THE LAST DAY I SAW HIM ALIVE..WAS ONJUNE 12..MY MIDDLE DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY..TAMARA..SHE WAS WITH ME..AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN SHE SAW HIM WITH A OXYGEN MASK..SHE RAN OUT THE ROOM..COULDN'T HANDLE IT AND CRIED ALL THE WAY BACK TO QUEENS..SAID MOMMY WE WON'T SEE HIM ANYMORE..RIGHT?..ISIGHED..PAUSED.. AND SAID..NO..HE WAS 25 YEARS OLD..PLEASEEE!!!HELP..PEACE..CREATE

what i see when i stop 2 awaken

A flowing gust of wind..that fines it's picture in a painting..what i see when i look at beauty flowing..moves like venus..across the atmosphere..leaving texture and colors of my being..a shade of spring..with floral arrangments..what access a season of reads and stories told..where the trees are the leaves of tomorrow..where vapors loses there dampness..when raindrops call for the dew to awaken morn..with a fresh new motto..the introduction to a yearly spiro..what keeps memories from long ago.. my distance between season's past...that says ..i'm your recreation..2 a world..a constellation..where the orbit meets it's earth revolving..time take her around.. she meets her nature..explores the ozone layers..contracts whats absent..disappears where i am none..a life displays..what was mom..a dove of shanarism..the name of my inner relations..what interpids the wind..naming me..it's spiritual connection..the face..i know and love..the soul of a human...named..Isis..Israelite..A WINDSWEPT VISION..OF UNIVERSAL LOVE..WHO I AM 2 U..a native sun..Earth..Shalom CREATE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CAN U FIND MY HEART IN HER RUINS.. SHE WEARS AS A FALLING LEAF IN LOVE WHILE HER AIR DISTRIBUTES..SURROUNDS THE HEART..CREATE..P E A C E

TODAY'S TESTIMONY/ TABLETS OF SCRIPTURE

how does one walk a mile..on his own..focus..modify what is sacred..build the body..as a place inside of your soul..that speaks eternal..where the heavens looks down ..shines with signs of deliverance..directs it's way to.. where righteous individuals kneel down and pray..open there mouths and say.. hail MARY...i come b4 thee..in thy presence..the spirit..asking that you will protect what guides me..lives through a noble authority..where my Lord shows me.. i am no door..knockin..but what's ask 2 turn the knob..open..looks inside ..see yourself..b4 i help..what steps to perform..future intentions...become the lesson learned from a mentor..a master of fate..determination..what i become.. where there is no death..no selfishness..no harm..no damnation to live like a plight..what wears my flesh..like a cult of Jim Jones..chills running down my back..where cyanide poisoning takes away thousands of human beings..where i read.. a man with life released as Parole's long journey ..to a better way to look at his freedom..living the future..decides not to report 2 his parolee..took the demands upon his destiny..use his own strategy to survival..instead he decides to kill 4 lives with wives and children at home..police of Oakland..as if they don't go through a range of fire..on a daily basics...jail was not the answer..release kept him parole material..didn't like still being California State property..a warrant was up for his arrest..now..he joins these victims he terminated..now he's dead as well...what was the purpose 2 die..right along with his victims..does one understand the word....coming outta jail for any reason..a criminal..a trial..that waits for the repeat performance ..returns a favor..to become a penal code..system..made it eazy..thats all he did..do u understands the reasons for living..the prayers your mom reads..whats said..so young..so senseless..makes no sense at all..he belonged to life ..not death..where parole opened the doors..I not knock..but i am you knob to open..turn my life around..inside myself approval..where doubt took me home..with God..being unassure of..the freedom..sad..what is this really about..is it about closure..or salvation...sealed..eliminated as..leaving early..from dust 2 dawn...the countdown to distruction...the hour of demise..another brotha...god be the glory..where we have no rights to kill..2 take a life..2 justify freedom..under your violation and my orders..to ready..aim..fire...damn..now look what happens..every damn time...a 5 year parolee..becomes his resting place..walks out..comes up with an idea.. get his own way..without permission..nobody told him ..he was free..totally..what the hell was he thinking..being black..in OAKLAND..running down the street..getting shot over becoming..a murderer that killed police..god bless the body..humans..life..laid to rest..where bullets wear no name..aim..directions to safety..truth tells the authority..we are a target..where millions of lives are on going..living just like this..this too shall pass..in the name of Jesus..have yourselves a blessed life..not a deathwish..u be terminated...or justified a hero..alive or dead..Create. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE MAN WITH A MALE TESTIMONY IN EVERY HOME..LIBRARY.. CHURCH AND SCHOOL THAT PREACHES THE GOSPEL..MY MAN.. T.D.JAKES HELPED ME WITH THESE WORDS OF WISDOM.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thanks so much..T.D..my church in DALLAS.. WHERE I MET HIM..POTTER'S HOUSE..WHERE I GAVE MY SOUL TO JESUS ON A VACATION IN TEXAS

HARLEM CAME OUT IN SUPPORT FOR A LEUKEMIA VICTIM TODAY..WOW

this weekend took a toil on me..had a lotta ideas about what should i be giving of myself as a fund raiser..so i had a friend from Georgia ..my sista..soulja of radio and blog..non other than Shaspeaks on da air @ blog.com...she had to do a funraiser today ..for such a beautiful lil girl from Harlem..whose will die ..if she don't get a bone Marrow transplant in two months...the weather was kinda overcast and cloudy...i was waiting for Sha to ring my chimes..so i woke with the best of intentions..got myself up and i was so ready to get going...well..it's not quite as simple as that ..when your in charge of seeing to your mom's health..making sure her bed is cleaned and dried ..due to her over excessive wet problem and stubborn eating habits..so i made sure everything was in order..got my call..was out the door...i started feeling for some reason ..so sick...i knew my stomach..had a good meal b4 i left the house..but for some reason..i kept feeling like i forgot something back at home..don't ya get that feeling u didn't finished what u was suppose to do...sure nuff..i realize..i left the food out on the stove...so i had my granddaughter to come downstairs and put it away..guess what!!!..it was gone...who ate it..non other than the both of my grand ....ok..i was pleased but..that was my meal when i got home this evening..LOLOLO..well we arrived in Harlem..where all the photographers was waiting for Connie..that's sha's real name..so i sat back and waited for this lil girl to arrive with her mother...as the crowd started coming around the gate..where she would b arriving..i just had to check out some of those badges on Malcolm and martin luther k..they have so many black artifacts that takes me back to the 70s..i love Harlem ..what it has to offer our people..by the time i got my badges..the lil girl had arrived..she was adorable and i fell in love with her gorgeous smile and vital signs ..which were so abrupt and on point..but what was looking so strong..healthy and rejuvenated..lack what was her lifesupport.. knowing all the time..the days and night were upon her existence..and i felt so nervous...scared for her..she is 11 years old..so after the photo shots with Sha.. we all walked around with the mother ..while sha was interviewing her mother.. she came over to me and smiled ..said ..what is your name and i just stared..got tongue-tide..said..sheila and she replied hello ms sheila..how are you..and at that moment..a chill went right down my back..smiled and turned my face..couldn't stand it..not being able to help her..other than the test..for a bone marrow.. when the interview with sha was over..she asked if i wanted to give..and i replied..GIVE..as in bone marrow sample..my heart started pumping ..my head was like not understanding her Question ..but understood..that was a tough thing to respond to..but i did..i turned and sorry..it's a personal thing with me..but i couldn't do it and now ya know..i was a coward..for a whole day..feeling so neglected ..uneazy..ashamed..but why?..would you have done this??..ask yourself this Q; as a result to this story...the mother find out i was into poetry..well.. the next test was even more difficult than the bone marrow sample..she wanted me to write a poem for her daughter..while Sha..was like...what are ya gonna say Sheila??..i said ..of course i will...and well..the rest is jam and jelly on crackers..i spread the flava..carried it home with me and well..i got it offline in my documents..ready to present to Emily's mother..she is the leukemia poster child..i don't know how i let Sha get me into such a Darius position but..i'm the melody..harmony and song of this precious lil princess..where love called and icame to the rescue after all...just wanted to say..i had a job to do for a life..worth living..thank u Jesus.. i be blessed in the spirit and be thankful in the process..peace to u all..save a life once more..how refreshing is this..thanks Sha for your photoshot today..and harlem reacts on the behalf of so many people ..who gave back and left a smile on emily faceand her mother.. god bless..peace..the photo shots were sowly the property of blog enterprise and united broadcasting company..i have to get the photos by permission from SHASPEAKS herself to advertise..sorry folks..have to wait..Create

THE PLEASURE PRINCIPLE...PT II

In my room..there are 4 walls..in these walls..i am myself respect..one's privacy..in regards to life's creation..gives me that right..in this creation.. there are principles i learned.. from discipline..named..parenting..there were rules to abide by...if i become da call of a wild..if i choose to become a victim..a raging bull outta hand..if i choose to be observed..what becomes explicit to the world...a common example 2 some as..a loose cannon..a freakizoid. what labels me dirt under the mind of a sex toy..but..clean..u seen at one time..gains respect as the ins and outsides of men..i value my decency..i honor who i am..i build a sense of dignity..i am a child from seed faith...as i grow..what validates my womanhood..YES..i get looks..b admired..adored..but..NOT looked as your body parts...now u know what this means..there's no respect 4..care 4..just introduces self as...a lustful.task..a future as.his..ass hole..what he sees in his eyes..another stretched out limo...when the time is right..a form cushion.. enough to fit your manhood..so u think..become confused about him..say to yourself.. is this how he looks at me...the affirmative action..without rights 2 alienate this germ..all u know is love and worship..he needs help..has no respect..outta control.. needs 2b trained as a person with morals...see a woman as a lady..with a good lifestyle..falling in love..without having 2 look in 2 her gentle Ben's background..smiling..hiding what's on his mind..u suddenly place him under suspicion..if u believe this is love...then i wanna know..what is disrespect..to all woman..if a master plan is his sexual exploitations..then your da plan..with him becoming a master..controlling everything he desires..sorry..but i had to bring this out..ON THE NEWS; a couple of days ago..a man that was working for a restaurant..as a janitor..i rather not say the name..was caught..by his own camera..installing it on a bathroom floor..behind the seat..for sexual exposure..this is insane..i don't see a future in lust..sin..or control..that's not what God had in mind for love..respect..honor for relationships..with 2 eyes..not 2x4 roaming the spectrum of sensual appetites..save love..stay focused..when a man loves a woman..he is like God..not perverted..tell the truth..save yo'soul..which one is your choice..coz;when the world possess the urge 2..i close my 4 walls..what's not allowed..the nerve..totally disrespectful....WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOIN ON>MEN..WHAT'S A WOMAN 2 DO...KEEP PRAYING...CREATE.

MUSIC MARKS DA LYRIC/TIMES/ PER BEATS OF SOUND

TODAY..I HAD QUIET MOMENT..TODAY..I FEEL SO BLAHHH..SO DESPERATE TO SEE MY FRIEND IN NEED OF LOVE..TODAY..HE CALLS..SO I ANSWER WITH A PASSIONATE HUNG AND KISS..WITH NO ONE AROUND..MY EMBRACE WAS SO PHONY...I SLEPT PASS HIS TINGLING SENSATION..THAT LOVE SLAPPED A MUSSEL ON MY FACE..WHAT BLOCKS HIS KISSES..WHERE I GOT SO SICK..THE HEART WAS SO ALONE..NOT ME ...HIM..FROM LOOSING WHAT I CAN'T GET A GRIP..WANNA SHOW SOME COMPASSION..WANNA KNOW HOW TO LOVE HIM..WANNA REACH OUT TO HIS CLOSURE..GIVE WHAT IS DRIVING ME OUTTA MY CLOTHES..BUT..WHEN..HOW..I DON'T HAVE THAT TOUCH..WHERE HE FEELS ME AND I LEAVE SOMETHING BEHIND WHAT HE SEES..A FLESH..WITH DESIRES SO EXUBERATING..EXCITING..LIKE A ROCKET..BLASTOFF..HURLS IN2 SPACE..LEARNING HIS TASTE..I DON'T WANNA ADMIT..THE RUB IS LIKE A FINE TOOTH COMB..RUNS DOWN MY BACK..INJURES MY SOUL..WHAT IS IT...THE ABUSE...WHY IS IT...IT WEARS WHAT WAS..A SLAP IN MY FACE..NUMB..FEBBLE..BURNT..BUT..WHY CAN'T I FEEL HIM..WHAT IS IT..HE DOES THAT..KEEPS ME ANGRY..WANTING TO BE TOUCHED..WITH TEARS .. RUNNING DOWN MY CHEEK..WHY DO I DENY MEN..BEHIND SEXUALITY..CURSING DARKNESS..LITERATELY BITING TIME..RIGHT IN FROM OF BODY MOVEMENT..WANTING TO FIGHT THIS SENSELESS BEHAVIOR..WHAT GOT A GRIPE..FUCKS WITH HIM AND I..WHERE I FEEL HIS LIPS..HIS SOUL..HIS SPIRITUALLY COMPOSITION..I DIE 4..WHERE THE PIANO PLAYS..BEETHOVEN OVERTURE..WHERE I RISE TO HIS DEMANDS..WITH SOFT PILLOWS AND RED SATIN SHEETS WITH ROSE PETALS LAID OUT..WAITING FOR ME..WHY IS IT.. THERED PRESENTS BLOODSHED...INSTEAD OF LOVE..WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN...ON THE FLOORIN FRONT OF CORRUPTION..BRUTALLY SCORNED...FOR WHAT REASON..I ABSOLUTELY DON'T KNOW..THE TURNTABLE CONTINUES TO PLAY..WHERE MUSIC BE THE REMEDY FOR HEALING..I MEND..I WEPT ..I SAW.I PAID A DEPT TO SOCIETY...WHY AM I SUFFERING ..STILL..I'M A BEAUTIFUL BLACK SISTA..I GOT LOVE..LIFE TO GIVE..WHEN.. I DON'T KNOW..WHY?..BECAUSE.I CAN'T B TOUCHED THAT WAY..WHAT DO U MEAN...I NEED A CHANCE..WHERE..INSIDE..WHERE U FEEL A WOMAN..U NEVER LEFT HER 4 MONEY..SHE OWES..JOHNS NEVER PAID..SO U BECOME THE THIEF..WHO GETS PAID BACK..U..NOTHING.. TO LIVE 4..BUT LIFE..BEING SAVED..IN LOVE..WITH THE WRONG SIGNALS..LOOKS LIKE I'M DONE4..WANTING A MAN IN LOVE SOMEWHERE ABOVE THE STARS AND BELOW...AN ACT 2 PLAY WITH..NOTHING IS REAL..CREATE

PT II...THE LIFT> comes down safely

I am the height...the width of man..i sore 2 a higher planes drifter..i dive from leaving what was so high..i know not ..the time or level or what way i got there..i climbed to the top of my skill...with clinging on2 hooks and connected to rocks...I held..as arms and feet to secure my stability...the wind was strong..the breeze came..causing a collision..where i had no one for support... when all failed me..what did i do...i dived down that mountain...landed on my own 2 feet..like a flight i'm in..while the air suspection spoke...said..i am your fall..the planes of concourse..the wings of man..i lift my arms and procededto pretend..for some reason..i feared nothing..i became the false pretense.. where you lifted my spirits..gave me room to escape..a mountain and it's regions..with length..width..the circumference..the magnitude..to gain a eagle sense..where i'm balanced..free...articulate..drawing me a landscape...painting a conclusion of..a man's world and his life..wearing..the wings of a eagle.. flying above the galaxy..finding what controls..attempts 2 break my landing... to touch the heavens..turns me around..arrives home..safely..where ground denies me...death...the lift..was what a test of faith...while the plane exploded.. in mid-air..true story.. the survivor of flight to Charlotte North Carolina..deep...Create