CRY TEAR READS THEE E MOTIVES

STOP!!.. now..let me think.. u say I'M thee 1.. fed w/ a spoon full of sweets

where jolly .. happy pretends 2 live outside a dream... 2 wear a Valium

of Darvon's or Quinines.. the eazy way out..a stone counter .. filled with

a latitude to fly like an eagle.. trippin trippin..trippin..2 the seas.. where my spirit carries me... no further than life can bury me.. it's experiment

so u say..I will be.. another one 2 conjure up..life's principles. striving 2 pretend..I am ur cry tears.. reads thee e motives 4.. excepting any cure

to laughter..ignored... pounding my insecurities.. finding myself wearing

motives 2 what matters through.. a criteria e motion..loves final hour..

serving you as...the remedy 2 death.. a liquid I call ..DRAUGHT...the

other drug..sufficating..when LIFE care less 4... THE AMOUNTS..when

knowingly..you don't know how 2 give back.. in love...so u die..kill the dream

4 all included..a selfish way 2 read what cry tears reads the motive 4..living...

THOUGHT I MENTION..CREATE. Sheila T Jordan

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES..JAMILA & ROBERT

HERE I AM W/ JAMILA.& ROBERT..HIS GRANDMA AND SON JAYLON

MR & MRS..WITH ERIC

My BROTHER IN LAW (PUMPKIN)..WILLIAM

ME W/ NEPHEW IN-LAW ERIC

THE BRIDE JAMILA & PUMPKIN

SAYING THEIR VOWS

THE BRIDAL PARTY

CLEOPATRA..BLACK QUEEN

Well..the wedding is over..my stay in Virginia was a wonderful five days of relaxation and getting to meet such wonderful people..after the wedding..shirley and I went back to her house while the bride and groom left on their weekend romantic hideaway...while we baby sitted her grandchildren..there was so much to clean up..considering the bridemaids stayed at Susie's..while the men..stayed at her daughter's house..where her husband was part of the wedding party..a bacholar party went on there..while we had our cocktails..I had to prepare the gifts for the guest..while everybody else..went to a club..to see some M E N ,..STRIPSHOW...YEAH..I missed it didn't have no desire to go ..being I had the whole house to myself ..watched cable on her big screen tv..after I finished the guest bubbles and wraps..cleaned up...took my bath..because I knew that when they come home..I would never get a chance to take my bath..had to be up at 10'clock to go to the elk hall and decorate..apparently..they needed extra help..so me..my nephew in law..Eric..brotha in -law Pumpkin & myself was nominated to go that morning before the wedding..we finished in 2 hrs..where we were picked up and taken to the church...it was so exciting..seeing them ..we haven't seen one another in 7 years..since Susie moved outta NY..and it just so happens when they moved..it was right in my people's hometown..Norfolk..Virginia beach and thats 10 mins from Porthsmith..where she lives now...a beautiful area..i didn't wanna leave...her home is so nice and I was just thinking to myself..when my girlfriend..susie momhad died and how she had to move in with me in my 2bedroom apt..with my chidren and her2 girls..a very tight squeeze..and now shes in her own home..with her 15 yr old..and her girls..both have their own homes ...a blessing to say the least..married...beautiful...ERIC..PUMPKIN AND MYSELF had a reunion..being the ls time we saw one another..Eric was about 12..he lived in FAR ROCK..WHERE..Susie left in NY...NOW..HE'S A GROWN man..24..getting ready for his wedding day in July..amazing..how time flies..I was married to their Uncle..Chris..and he looks so much like him now.tall ..handsome..a wonderful young man he is..we all had a ball..Pumpkin..well..he locked for 10 years for sticking up a Mc Donald's..falsely accused..did time for nothing..wasn't even involved..SENSELESS..crime & punishment...A good man..took a mugshot and compared him with another..they finally got that dude...and now he is a free man on probation though..in a halfway house in FAR ROCK..going to TCI..sounds familar don't it..hummmm..LR..SAME SHIT..DIFFERENT LOCATION... MY brotha-in law..he was 21 when he went in..hes now 32.. love him to death..and a for Eric..he made sure I had a slamming time we danced..talked about his Uncle ..why we aren't together..how He spoke to Chris last week in Florida...did I want2 know his whereabouts..I said politely ..no..did I want his cell..again ..I responded ..no..I am lonely..in need of love..but not at the price of being broken hearted..I got to see..Kolengi..her dad..he is living with Jamila now in Va..has a back room..built in their garage..turned it into a apt..real cool..i loved it..all and all memories..lingers on .. my family..years..being friends..helping out...being with Susies cousin...and The marriage that gave up prison life with/prison wifey..me...thats for listening,,have a good 1.. CREATE

Virginia here I come...Portsmith YES..i go 2 another WEDDING..MY FRIENDS DAUGHTER..Jamila

WELL..my bags are packed..

my ticket is ready..here I go..finally ..a trip to my girl

from NY..moved to Virginia 6 years ago..Iam now getting the opportunity to visit

the family..take a part in another Wedding..her youngest daughter..JAMILA..It's

been awhile seen we have got together...I am so excited..I remember when this girl

was just a teen when they left..Shirley got married..left NY..she's my cousin through

marriage..her cousin is Chris..my ex..we've been friends since her mother ..my friend

Willamena..who died..were neighbors of mine...right next door..close for years..love themwe use to party together..meet guys together..when the man who was currently w/her mom..where she went on a vacation to Mississipi..to visit relatives..she was found in the bathroom..hunched over..had an brain anurythm..word got back in NY..susie was young mother herself..w/ a daughter..the man who was taking care of them..find out...set a fire to the home for insurance purposes..made sure..there was nothing left for them..the fire suddenly spread through my window next door..smoke was everywhere..susie came home to no place to live..thats when.I came to the aid of her and shakerri..then 6yrs..i moved them in w/me...being my landlord was her godmother..in a small 2 bedroom apt..

I had..where she worked as a nurses aide ..like her mother..went to Queensbridge community college..met KOLENGI NAPIER..where she left my home..then down the years they had Jamila...broke up w/napier..and moved again to the project in far

FAR ROCKAWAY..REDFERN houses...lived there for 5 years..where she left NY..GOT married 2 A BROTHA SHE MET IN JAIL..and the rest is history..Last year..we made contact...where she found out about my mother ..told me ..she almost died from blood clots in her throat..and that when ...I shared w/her about my near death experience with a stroke..

we swore never lose contact again..SHE PAID FOR MY ticket..thats love

& friendship..touching moment..how u found drama as it's deed

2 help out someone..God comes along and save the day..

just thought I mention..

thanks 4 listening..it's time to go...seeya next week...

be back friday..the16TH...IN THE MEANTIME

PEACE ..HAVE A GOOD 1..Create..Sheila..muah!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT..WALKING ZOMBIES..HUMANS..AN EASTER TESTIMONY..LIVING PROOF

TO ALL THAT KNOWS NOT..

HAS NOT & SEES NOT BRAIN

KNOWLEDGE AS UR SOURCE..

THIS IS FOR U

This is a story..

I must share with my viewers..

it take place in a town

where everyone has rights to love and

be loved /with circumstances under their belt..

where all that makes up different elements..

people who were survivors of the Drug era..

60s..70s.80s...

where I grew up...we faced

the Black boycotts of Watts..

the colors of the rainbow flower children..a

violent state of mine..

where war paint sends a message of Wars

in Vietnam..Black panther parties..

the fist of liberty and screaming

we shall over come paved the way to victory..

as I look back on street life..

the song which speaks

heroin addiction..the year of Aquarius..

fires..churches being burned down in

the Mississippi's south..killing three black lil girls..

2 black brothas and a Jewish

friend..Images of hatred & neglect...

it is now..2010..

why are we still visualizing that same effect...

I am so ANGRY..floored about life and how

some still don't get the true meaning..

what God had done for all that survives..

I am very upset in my journey..

while witnessing the fruits of labor...

working..able to buy a car..house..use a hole

in the wall 2 eniciate product..taking out all thoughts

& transfers 2 another time

wasting ours generic rules of being LIFE..

LIVING RIGHT

a substance to function right..having fun in

the process while THE TRUTH..remains evident..

we are not our OWN destiny 2 RECOGNIZE..we own no soul

calling the days 2 expiration early..but in

Gods hands when it becomes..his will..

the devil's way to enjoy products over the counter..

under doormats on street corners or even in

pharmaceutical plants manufacturing..

We have lost so many human beings..

died w/no sense or purpose

to remain a dad..mom..children left behind..a clone..

with an identity to find..the world has shown..

it is a difficult atmosphere to evolve..

to grab a hold of spirit and wear

it as God..he died for us..we take it for granted..

we smoke filled dreams..dance to the street merchants..

who supplies our heads w/ a cause to celebrate..

none2 die..2 drink..over indulge.

pass a violent mixture of suicide..

forcably allowing Life 2 become our ticket

2HELL..

what Jesus died for on the cross4 US..

I am so apolled..tears roll down my cheek.

actually taking part in this world as we see it..

I have many who..as well as myself..

as well..lacing the totes..

breaking the rules of LIFE..bending my ass over

to the evils of street ..

walking that long corridor to the chambers of goodbye..

saying..this is my temple of ..

I know not the what is the kingdom..when all the time..

ur brain's out to lunch..playing urself..drinking..doping..

mainlining..cocaine in..freebasing..weed with

cigar paper & industrial strength chemicals..

I am mad..when I see a transformation..

turn..angel of death...my face changes..

my thoughts are nothing..not what I was at birth

where..again..the track of living..

crews with a chains holding me bac..a black human

figure..created in his image..

not a gift for killing the human race..I am so angry this day

why..because right now as I write this testimony..

my closest seeds are lifting ..getting

high..not even thinking

I know whats happening in there lives...

the only thing is left

to realize..all that is on a level of positivity

& soul searching....WILL SEE HIS KINGDOM

where urs is up in arms ..with no care in the WORLD..

4 Eternity..where he waits..for u..

ur death..time is short..why???..think..

whatcha gonna do!!!..H A P P Y E A S T E R..

H U M A N S..

God Bless YOU..

JESUS..

I ANSWER TO U..NOT MAN..PRAY FOR US..AMEN...

Create..Sheila T Jordan

Choking On Laughter by ~HeartbeatStatic on deviantART

Choking On Laughter by ~HeartbeatStatic on deviantART:

"I'm watching it all I'm watching it all fade Into the depth It's never coming back I'm catching it all I'm catching it all carefully In cold hands It's never coming back I'm crying it all I'm crying it all out Away from dreams It's never coming back I'm breathing it all I'm breathing it all in Into heavy lungs It's never coming back And I'm Watching Catching Crying Breathing And I'm choking On the laughter Breaking down the silence I stole the sledge hammers I tore down that wall I'm going to rebuild it I'm making a new home A place where I can be happy For once in my life I'm counting the stairs up Not adding my thirteenth I'm going to die here In a peaceful mind I'm choking on my laughter And I'm tearing down my walls."

"Subject: Dear Tide I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product. Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people"

"Blessed Palm Sunday and

Happy Easter to you all... with LOVE"

HONESTLY..

u slipped my mind and actually

I haven't been looking past the days

which left our mother in heaven

where we can no longer make this our many

holidays of praise to worship..palm sunday

never goes past our love for what was the most

amazement of strength..power and unselfishness

what we are living for...who died on the Cross..

NEXT WEEK..WE WILL

Celebrate our first

holiday of the season w/out mother

Easter...Let ur spirit be with God

on this day and here after...

forever,,,miss you..love you..

sheila..muah!!!!!